Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

I am going back to my old ways. EEEEKKKKK.

Last night I ate THREE tacos. They were from a place that I havent been to since last year, and they were AMAZING. THis is one of my favorite places and I can only go about once a year or so. Hahha. Oh well. Life goes on.

And today I am just DYING for the halloween candy I bought. I havent had ANY yet, but I want some now. I wanted some for breakfast. But I avoided it.

It doesn't help that Halloween is around when the PMS starts. Lordy.

I think tonight we will hand out as much candy as possible and then I will bring the rest into work and let all the boys gobble it down.

Today I was able to sleep in. It was amazing. AMAZING.

Now I am at work.

I found that if I sleep in later I dont snack as much. This is probably because I am not awake long enough to eat between meals. Hahha.

Too bad I have to wake up early 99.9999999999% of the time and I have no choice in the matter because I need to get paid. Booo.

Now that it is Halloween I think I deserve to eat all kinds of candy and eat pizza tonight. Hahhaha. I don't, and I won't eat pizza (i am pretty sure) but still resisting on the actual holiday is HARD. It was hard enough to avoid the festivities before. Geesh.

I plan on going to the gym tonight, and tomorrow, and then on Saturday (or was it Sunday?) they have a kick boxing class at my gym at 10am which is completely do-able. I might even invite my neighbor to go with me. Hmm...............

Alright, well... its time to get back to what I was doing. Have a Happy Halloween!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Binge Dreams

Do you ever have a dream that you are eating a lot of food? like eating everything in site? Finding all kinds of goodies and just eating them ALL. and then you wake up and feel guilty, but then realize a few minutes later that it was JUST a dream.

I had that dream the other night. I had this dream a few weeks ago as well (slightly different, but same concept).

What's weird is that I never really binged before, so this is just odd to me.

I think it is a sign that I am too focused on food, and not being able to eat it. But how do you solve this? I don't want to cut off paying attention. Maybe it is a sign that I am finally getting it.

I tend to dream about work during my first few weeks of a new job, and after that I tend to do better. So maybe my dreams are just showing me that I am concious of what I am eating now and should continue to learn from it.

What do you think?

Monday, October 29, 2007


I suck at staying within calorie limits. BOO.

Will I forever have to do this? I know its a life style but I don't see myself keeping to this calorie counting thing forever. And once I stop it, and won't have to log everything down, I know I will just start to mindlessly grab a few candy bars, or some extra chips, etc.

So am I forever going to have to stick to this calorie counting thing or be doomed? Or maybe both ways are doomed. But this way, at least I am being healthier.

I want to change the life, but I will never fully give up mexican food. Never.

I am probably never going to be the person that never eats candy again, or voids all carbs, or all whatever. The most I ever limited in my life was meat, which honestly was not very hard. I stopped eating meat for 2 years because I thought I was allergic to ALL of it, when in reality I was only allergic to chicken. heh. And I dont really like meat, so it wasnt very hard.

I guess I just need to teach myself better substitutions for some of my bad habits.

I tried to start drinking the Starbucks Iced Coffee (the kind you can buy at the store) instead of the Starbucks Double Shot. I can't do it. It was disgusting.

BUT.... I did find some healthier breakfasts, some good desserts and some good ways to cook turkey :-) Oh also, I discovered that I really Do like black beans and rice. mmmm.

I need to stick with more positives and stop thinking about how almost everyone fails the whole "diet" thing. At least I can rest easy in the fact that I consider this a lifestyle thing, not a diet (temporary) thing. That will be the only way I am cool with this I suppose.

Alright I need to go to bed. I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow.

Oh also, I completely kicked ass at the gym tonight. AND... I am considering taking a class at the gym on Saturdays. They now have kick boxing. Although I am the most uncoordinated person you will ever meet, I will give it a try. Anyone have any tips?

One more thing, I decided I want a runners body. I saw a few real runners at the gym today and they have the body I want. I also think it can be possible for me. I might have bulkier legs (a bit) but I could pseudo pull it off at least.

Okay, good night.

Start it all over again.....

As far as the whole eating healthy and working out goes, I failed this weekend.

It all started on Friday when I said I would have a "cheat meal" at the local Mexican food restaurant. Then on Saturday, when we decided to go out to a bar with some friends and our neighbors. I ended up drinking aout 4 beers (only 2 of them light) and then eating a few bites of carne asada nachos that evening. Then on Sunday, post slight hang over Mike convinced me to go to Norms for a fatty breakfast.

I couldn't resist the hash browns and bacon. I know I could have made smarter choices, but I figured that I don't go here enough to have to scrimp on the food I love.

Just because I want to be healthier does that mean I have to forever give up ALL of the foods I love forever? If so, I did not agree to this... yet.

I ended up only eating 2 meals yesterday though because of my huge breakfast, and my indulgence on Saturday and Friday night. I wasn't even hungry for a third meal, which was nice.

The problem with all of this was that I was conscious of my choices and still continued to be dumb about them. I do have to admit though that drinking definitely makes me crave fatty foods, etc.

I have not drank like that though since before I started on this weight loss track.

Also, I ended up not going for my run on Saturday because I was afraid that the air might kill my lungs. I did end up going to the mall with Teddy though, which could account for SOME exercise, right? Hahaha.

I plan on doing better this week, even though I know tomorrow I am heading to San Diego which probably means I will be eating some food Mexican food. Mmmm. I will only be there for one night, to see Tegan and Sara with my old roomie and Teddy. It will be a great evening, although Wednesday I am SURE to be tired.

Anyone have Halloween plans? I absolutely HATE dressing up, but I LOVE handing out candy to the kids.

By the way, I have not touched one piece of Halloween candy and I bought the candy about 5 days ago. Pretty good, right? It doesn't help that they are hidden in a drawer in my house. Hahah.

Alright everyone, start your week off great. I am going to try my hardest too!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Early October Morning

Last night Mike and I ended up going to Don Ramon's, the Mexican food restaurant I mentioned yesterday. It was really up to him, but I gave a strong hint that that was what I wanted. People mention all the time how they give themselves a cheat meal a week, or something like that. I haven't had a cheat meal in months, so here I go :-)

I was waaay over calorie limits, but it could have been worse. So good and bad.

I wont go into everything that I ate because it might make me hungry for it all over again. Mexican food is my weakness. Mmmmmmmm.

I ended up getting a new scale yesterday. It was pretty cheap, but wasn't the cheapest. I am not sure how much I would trust the cheapest. I have tried it out several times since I bought it, just to see how accurate it is. I tried it with clothes on, with clothes off, at night, in the morning, before breakfast, after. Haha. It showed decent differences, so it must be working. My old one never showed differences. Maybe it was not as accurate. I don't know.

This one shows I am 125.6, which is 1.1 lbs higher than I was last week. Apparently eating less (all but yesterday) and working out the same as the week before will make you gain. Who would have guessed? Not me.

My pants are fitting me great though, so I am not going to let this ruin my day or anything.

Saturday is generally my interval training day. The problem here is that we have had a million and one fires in the area, and although the air looks sorta clean here, I am not sure I want to risk my lungs. I think I mentioned this yesterday. Oops.

Anyway, I think I may just opt for a gym session after I watch Grey's Anatomy.

Right now as I am writing this, I have a face mask on. What a perfect Saturday. hahah.

Also, I think I might try to come up with something for a pseudo costume for my pups for the Howl-O-Ween parade tomorrow. I just got their new collars in their mail and I might do something to dress it up. Emily has a Phoenix Suns collar, and Ender has a Houston Rockets collar. Can you tell I am excited for the NBA season? :-) November 1st!!!

Have a good weekend. I have a feeling I might even update tomorrow. Wow, right? haha.

Friday, October 26, 2007

What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

Find out what 200 calories looks like. I love this!!

It shows the comparison of how much good food you can eat for 200 calories and how little BAD food you can eat for 200 calories.

Alright, back to work.


I am so glad it is Friday. I just hope Friday does not seem to last as long as the rest of the days this week, although usually it tends to last the longest because of what it offers afterwards.

My plan went better yesterday. I ate almost 1200 calories before leaving work, then went to the gym and then finished off my calories at dinner.

At the gym I went on the treadclimber for about 30 minutes. I didn't do weights because my whole body was already sore from the days before. When I do JUST cardio at the gym I am bored though, and it is very hard to motivate myself to go if I know that is all I am going to do. I think to myself I could just go on a run with the pups instead. Then I think about how annoying it is to run with both of them by myself. I love the pups but they are definitely not a good pair of runers, although we ARE working on it.

I did weights only 2 days this week so far, but am planning on doing pull ups tonight at the park. I LOVE those, especially when I see the results of some other people who have done the same and have amazing arms. You know who I am talking about ;-)

Last night I wanted to make a nice dinner because the boy is going to be taking the GRE this morning. So I made some spinach and herb ravioli (ready to boil, already made) with some tasty pasta sauce. I actually counted the raviolis to make a serving. Can you believe it? I can't.

Today Mike and I are supposed to celebrate him being done with the GRE. He has been going crazy with stress, so this will at least release some of the stress (being done, yea know). The way we tend to celebrate is through going out to dinner, which i KNOW is bad, but thats what he wants tonight and he will get what he wants. He is considering Cheesecake factory or our favorite Mexican Food place.

I am hoping Cheesecake Factory for calories (I could get one of their yummy salads) but I honestly am dying for the amazing mexican food that would completely blow my entire calorie limit in one meal. ahhaah.

Also, my scale is officially broken. The question is, do I buy a new one? I think it keeps me motivated so I will. Hopefully if I get a new one, it won't torture me like my recently deceased one.

Also, last night I bought some new tea. I read someone's blog yesterday who mentioned Apple and Cinnamon Spice tea and I had to have it. I am a weakling when it comes to endorsements. hahaha. I also read yesterday that cinnamon helps to balance out your blood sugar, making you less hungry. Maybe this will work? I will let you know. All I know now is that it is delicious and smells very nice. mmmm.

Have a good Friday everyone? Any good plans this weekend?

I am going to a Howl-O-Ween parade (dogs dressed up) on Sunday in long beach. Last year it was AWESOME, and this may be my last year to go to it. Check out my photos of the Howl-O-Ween Parade last year :-)

Oh I will also be going on my Saturday run :-)

Okay I am leaving now.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Plans Not as Perfect as Planned

My plan to eat more during the day and less at night did not work out so well yesterday. I ended up going over the calorie limit.

I ate a bad lunch, and then by dinner time I was starving. Mike suggested getting food from somewhere, so we went to Rubios. I couldn't resist.

I ate half the bean and cheese burrito, which kept me in the calorie limit, but then I also ate the stupid chips that come with it. I knew that it would make me go over, but I just wanted those damn chips. And I thought about how I worked out so hard the last few days that it was okay. It probably wasn't. Oh well.

Also, my scale didn't work yesterday morning, like would not turn on. And then I tried it last night and it worked. And then I tried it this morning, and it did not work. WTF? Maybe I need one. I probably do. This scale is weird and VERY temperamental.

Tomorrow Mike takes the GRE, and we will prob have a celebratory dinner afterwards. So I guess I will definitely keep the calories lower during the day.

Yesterday I ended up going to the gym, even though Wednesdays I usually don't because of dog park. But this time I was able to go to the park and work out. Woo hoo.

Not this weekend, but next weekend Daylight KILLING time will start, so dog park may not be an option anymore. Boo. I hate when it gets dark at 5pm. Gross. It probably won't get dark at 5pm for another month (I HOPE!).

Once we can't go to dog park anymore, I think we will just take the pups on a walk instead. Last year we went to this one park and ran with them. Maybe we can start doing this once it gets dark. Its scary at the parks though, sometimes, because coyotes come out when it is dark in the park. Yeah coyotes in Huntington Beach. Who would have thought? We didn't, until last year. Heh.

We shall see what sorts itself out to. I probably will not continue the Wednesday at the gym though, but perhaps will be exchanging it for a run with the pups instead.

By the way, my arms/chest/back are KILLING me from my workout the other day. Geesh. I dont even want to type. Hahaha. It is actually not that bad that I feel it when I type, but it is pretty bad. Haha. I hope it heals by Friday because I want to do pull ups!

Also, the fires are getting better now that the Santa Ana winds have died down. My parents house is still standing, and the fires are not heading towards their house any longer. Woo hoo! The fire near my work is already 15-30% contained, so it probably will not get to my work. Our internet is back up as well, and has been all day so far, so the power surges might be over. I am just hoping the worst is over.

I hope the air can clear up soon, because I cannot take my lunch walks until the ash is out of the air, and the air is again healthy. I do not want to damage my pretty lungs. I know my lungs are pretty because I have never smoked, nor do I hang out with heavy smokers (not that I am discriminatory, I just dont have friends that smoke, except Molly... haha).

Alright, I should head out. I have nice plans to help increase the leads I bring in. I hope it works!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Firing Away

The fires are still raging here in Southern California. There is actually a fire raging about 4 miles from where I work. And yes, I am still at work. I don't get it, but I am here.

Huntington Beach is clearing up (smoke wise) which is nice. Maybe I CAN go running on Saturday.

My parents place is still standing right now, although there are still fires raging there as well. Their neighbor did not evacuate like he was supposed to and so he has been giving them updates. I am still praying that everything will work out. I love their home.

I ended up going to the gym last night. I went on the tread climber for 45 minutes, and then did 15 minutes of weights. I used one new upper body machine and my arms are killing me. Hahha. It is a good burning feeling though. heh.

Did I mention yesterday how after measuring my calories and whatnot, I have figured out that I do not eat enough during the day. I have been eating very few calories during the day and then when it is night time I have 600+ calories left to eat. This results in me eating dessert, which is no good.

Your biggest meal of the day should be earlier in the day, not a few hours before bed. So starting yesterday I am trying to eat more during the day. It worked out well for me yesterday.

I am supposed to eat 1600 calories, on days I work out, and I aim for 1200 calories on days I don't. For the 1600 days, I am trying to eat 1200 calories before dinner time. This makes everything more even for me. Lets see how it works out. Yesterday worked out great, so hopefully so will today.

I packed my lunch today but I got Taco Bell instead. After such a tough morning I just wanted something like that and to get out of here as long as possible.

I am hoping that I will get sent home today. A fire so close creeps me out. I doubt it will happen though. Boo.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Fires Continue...

My parents had to evacuate last night. They live in the Lake Arrowhead area, and I guess it got a lot closer, or everyone in the area had to evacuate, I am not really sure.

It smells like smoke really bad where I live too. Ugghhh. It reminds me of when I lived in San Diego during the fires 4 years ago.

Where I am right now, in San Clemente, it smells fine, even though we are close(ish) to the San Diego fires.

At times like this I just wish I could be at home watching the news, but I guess you cant do that all day anyway without really freaking out.

I am praying that my parents house will be fine because they have put some much blood and sweat in making it the amazing house that it is.

Luckily they have a place to stay, and a place for their 4 dogs.

As far as the weight loss stuff, the scale is annoying me, and I discovered I need to eat more during the day and less at night.

I need to work out tonight, but am not 100% sure its possible. I hope so! This fire is crazy though and is really stressing me out.

I was kind of crazy and whiney last night, so crazy that i actually hung my clothes up that had been waiting months to go into the closet. hahah.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fires Everywhere

Man oh Man. There are fires all over Southern California. All of San Diego County, Irvine (close to me), LA, Lake Arrowhead. My parents may have to evacuate.

The air here is nasty. It is not as bad as I thought it might be, but I do not want to even go outside with the allergy prone pups. Hahha.

My eyes are burning though.

I had to skip the gym today because no one was home all day with the puppies, and we left the windows open. I didn't want smoke in the house, with my pups.

Now that I am home I don't want to work out, but I will in a little while. It wont be as good as the gym work out, but oh well. I guess I will just make sure to work out Wednesday, even though it is usually my day off.

Think good thoughts about my parents house and all the others in the area suffering from the fires in good ole Southern California.

Weekend Reflections and Future Predictions

This weekend was not good, calories wise. At least I kept track and was conscious about everything I put into my mouth. But i dont know, still not the best.

Yesterday I was starving most the day, even though I had a protein rich breakfast burrito for breakfast. So at dinner, I went crazy. I snacked before it, I drank some wine, and ate more than I thought I would. Oh well.

I ended up going to trader joes instead of the regular grocery store (or so I thought). I ended up getting a few key meals there, including a tasty looking Southwestern Salad that I am going to eat for lunch today :-)

Possible Meals for this week:
*Trader Joes Vegetarian Fried Rice and Egg Rolls (300 cal meal
*Salad with Pecan/Cherries Mix and Walnut/Rasberry Dressing (300 calories)
*Trader JOes Pizza type thing (300 calories)
*Fake Chik'n Sandwiches (300 calories or less)
*Turkey breast cutlets
*Turkey & Pepperjack Sandwich

Snacks this week:
*Trader Joes Cinnamon & Sugar pita chips (mmmm)
*MINI Ice cream Candy Bars for only 90 calories!!
*Fruit (mandarin oranges/pineapple/apples/strawberries/blue berries)
*2% String Cheese
*Granola Bars (90 Calories)

Now I just need to figure out which days I can eat what to properly beat out the whole calorie game. Hahha.

Maybe if I will myself to stay under, and lose weight I can.

I weighed myself this morning and it was over what I wanted, like I gained 1 lb over night (blah) but I think its for some other reasons. Tomorrow should be a better judge.

Today I will be spending my lunch reading my book, and then I will go to the gym tonight and do 30 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes weights. Or, because the dogs will be home alone most of the day, i will do a workout video at home with lots of sqauts involved. haha.

Oh yeah, there are a ton of fires out here in So Cal. Hopefully it doesnt ruin the air where I live. On my way to work today though I was inhaling smoke for awhile and my eyes are burning.

Have a good Monday!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My First Fall Party This Year

I had a birthday party to go to last night. It was my good friends birthday and it was a fall themed pot luck. It had all the goodies that I have been warned against to eat. Hahah.

I ended up eating pretty well during the day, or rather light during the day. By the time evening rolled around I wanted EVERYTHING, but I ended up holding back on a lot more of it than I thought I would. At least at parties I feel some pressure to not over indulge. Although, I also felt pressure to eat more of some other things than I would have normally because I wanted the people who brought it to think that I liked it. Oh well.

I weighed myself today after eating breakfast, and drinking my coffee, and I was at what I have been all week. So hopefully that means that I am actually lower. Who knows. My scale is pretty crazy.

Also, yesterday I went on a GREAT run with my friend Teddy. It was my first time back to interval running in the park after a week hiatus. It was harder than I thought it would be in some ways, and in other ways it was a lot easier. We ended up running for a longer amount of time, and running further at the same time. It was pretty awesome. I am sore from it today though, and I am not normally sore from runs. Maybe I pushed myself further out there.

I think it is MUCH harder to run in the outside world than on a treadmill though. I know a lot of people think the treadmill is just insanely boring, but it really helps me zone out and get into the rhythm faster. Also on my run yesterday my ipod headphones kept falling out of my ears (any tips?) and I actually droped my ipod once, the timer once and my keys twice. I am a klutz. But in the middle of the run I did 5 pull ups, and two of them were two in a row. Woo hoo! That is awesome for me.

Oh yeah, I also went to Trader Joes today and got a tasty looking Southwest Salad (my favorite right now), and some other good meal stuff. I love trader joes. Does anyone know if they have them in Austin? I suppose I could look it up. Haha.

Well I will be working on building websites for the rest of the afternoon. My two pups are sleeping right next to me, and I get to hear the rush of STRONG winds outside my window. It sounds like a great Sunday to me :-)

I hope you all had a great weekend and continue to have a great Sunday!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Internet Down Again At Work

Ever since I had an amazing salad at CPK last week I have been craving salad. Normally I loathe it. Anyway, i think today at lunch I am going to get a salad from the local cafe. they have salads with pecans and cherry, with turkey, black beans, corn, and tomatoes, also ones with avocado. mmmmmmmmmmmmm. I hope to be getting one today. otherwise I have nothing to eat. hahah.

So with 2 hours of no work this morning, because no internet, people kept saying I should go to starbucks, or get breakfast. i had already eaten breakfast, and already had my coffee, so I didnt see the point. I avoided it. Normally I would just go get food just because I was bored. Not today. Woo hoo!

What day of the week do you think you weigh the least? This week the lowest was Monday, where I was down 2.5 down from the original weight. Today (and yesterday and the day before) only 2 lbs down from the original weight. I know people say dont weigh yourself everyday, but I like it, so there. haha.

Have a good day, and wish me luck in actually being able to do something today.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Weird Gym Experience

So today, I went to my gym and had a weird experience. When you walk into 24 Hour Fitness, they require you to show you your Gym ID. The guys there might recognize me there because I go several times a week now and have been for about 4.5 months. Not entirely sure if they do because a ton of people walk through their a lot, but there are high chances that they do.

Anyway so I showed them my ID today, and the guy said "have a good work out" like they always do. Then some guy at the front desk stops me as I start to walk away. He asks me "Can I ask you a few questions?" So I say sure... thinking.... what the hell is this? Market research?

So he asks me what my goals are fitness wise. I know he just wants to hear me say to lose 20 lbs or something. I didn't want to say that for some reason, even though it is true (well now its 19.5 lbs... haha). So I just said to be healthy, because ultimately, that IS the goal. It would be slightly embarrassing to admit to this guy I might see several times a week that I have gained about 30lbs in the last few years and need to lose it. Maybe it shouldn't be, but it was.

Alright, so I said the health thing. Then he says, can you be more specific? And I say like what? Do you just want me to tell you I want to lose weight? And he said yea, more specific like that. And I am like okay..... how about I want a more athletic body, I want to be more defined, is that specific enough? He said sure.

Really though, I do just want to be healthy. . I am trying to tell myself that it is JUST to be healthy so that I can make it a life long goal, because health IS a life long goal. I dont want to just lose the weight and then go back to eating crap food and not challenging my body by working out. So, blah to your request for scripted answers.

Anyway, so he asked me if I ever had a personal trainer. I said no. He asked if I wanted one for 30 minutes. I asked if there was a catch (I AM that person). He said no, he just has 30 minutes free because someone canceled.

Still weirded out that he approached me, I say sure. He tells me to get dressed and then meet him upstairs (the main gym area). He said you can even warm up a bit. I say okay.

So I change and head upstairs. I dont see him so I just go on the treadmill to warm up. I run for about 15 minutes, and am wondering where the hell he is, when he comes up to ask if me, the person running is the person he spoke to earlier. I said yes. He said oh, I was looking for you everywhere. So I say, well you asked me to warm up so I did. And he said okay well I have to re-schedule this then. I say okay, because really I wasn't that into the idea of a personal trainer telling me what to do.

I still feel there was a catch. Whether it was to get me to pay more money for a continuous personal trainer or to try to get my phone number, I am not sure.

And why was I picked? Really. I am wondering this. There were other people around when he approached me to do this. Do I look like I don't know what I am doing and that I desperately need your services? I dont know. Weirded me out.

Also, I didn't bring my ipod with me because I thought I was going to be personally trained. Because it didnt work out I had to run without music. It wasn't terrible, although my endurance has gotten pretty terrible after my sick weeks. Geesh.

I hope I can build up the endurance again.

Also, girl night fell through. My friends friend is having a baby tonight and she is there helping her through it. No ANTM for me tonight. BOO. But I guess babies ARE more important.

Has anyone ever used a 24 hour fitness trainer? My friend has and he was extremely rude to her. Plus I heard from a nutritionist not affiliated with 24 hour that they often inflate the body fat percentage to keep you going to the gym. I can't say I agree with those business ethics. Do you think if this guy approaches me again, I should say yes again? Will this actually benefit me? Ehh.

Office Is Insane This Week

Apparently it is healthy boy's bad week today. First it was cookies, then cake, then brownies, then candy, then breakfast burritos and now its donuts. I did not eat a donut though. After my stomach getting all screwy from the breakfast burrito, I decided against the donut. Otherwise I might die. But lordy. what is with this? Normally the guys here will criticize you for eating a LEAN CUISINE, saying that it is too bad for you. This is weird.

Our internet is down right now and has been since 6 am, although I have only been here since 630 am. It is now 745 am.

Because I do search engine marketing everyone thinks I can fix it. I cannot. I have no IT skills whatsoever. I can fix my own computer but not a network of computers. I have a relationship with my computer, I know how to work out the kinks. hahah. Yes I am a nerd.

Yesterday I did end up doing my lunch walk, and I also did a sprint at the park and willingly carried the 30lb bag of dog food from my garage to my apartment (much further than you would think... it takes about 5 minutes to walk to it from my apt).

I ate terrible yesterday. But I was still within my calorie limit somehow. Hmmm. I would like to not eat terrible today though. I feel so much better when I eat healthy and I am always a lot less hungry all day when I eat healthy.

I have a nice lunch and snacks today. I have an organic bean and cheese burrito (low cal and fat actually), a skim milk string cheese, some apples and grapes, and snap peas. mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Also, since I have been eating healthier I havent been dying for a snack at 830 like I was before. Now i start getting hungry around 930 or 10. I think its interesting. I still have my snack most the time, but it still is nice to know that eating healthier keeps me full longer.

Today, after work the plan is to go to the gym. I plan on going on the treadmill (running style) for 30 mins and then 15 mins of weights (lower body).

Afterwards its girl night with Teddy. I usually make dinner, and will prob make something quick because I will probably be starving by that point. I always am. PLUS I hear its best to eat pretty shortly after working out because your body burns the calories faster at that point. Maybe thats not true, but it makes sense to me.

Time for a papaya enzyme because my tummy is still not happy.

PS: My boss just brought in MORE cookies. Geesh.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Food for Thought

Reason #1 to resist breakfast burritos again: they are so greasy they make me sick within an hour.

Lordy!!! I hate this feeling. It reminds me of those 2 years when I was allergic to chicken and wheat but didnt know it.

What happened too is that I ate almost all of it. Not all of it, but most of it. And I ate more and more, even though I wasn't hungry anymore, because it tasted so good. And then I was nauseous and regretted it. And then during my lunch walk (first time in a few weeks) I started to feel my tummy rumble, and not in the hungry way.

I wonder if it was truly the burrito, because I heard that food poisoning takes about 6 - 12 hours to kick in. On the other hand, this isn't exactly food poisoning, maybe just health poisoning. And maybe health poisoning only takes less than an hour to kick in negatively. Hmmm. Food for thought... literally.

Also, when I came back from my lunch break, the wonder of the company was outside the door smoking. I asked how he was doing, in a friendly way. He said something to the effect of good. And then asked how I am doing. I said I am doing good, really good. And he said, are you a happy camper? That is all that really matters. I said yes, of course. But it was strange, like he was paranoid I might quit... but i dont even think he likes me here. Hmmm. That is the second most I have ever talked to him though. Heh.

Good Thing It's Still the Morning

Holy moly. People at my work ordered breakfast burritos, and asked me if I wanted any. I said "i wish" meaning I can't because I am counting calories and want to continue to lose weight. Apparently they took it as "i wish, but I dont have money" or "I wish but I dont want to ask". They brought me one back. And hello, you cant turn down brownies AND breakfast burritos. Hahahhaa.

So I ate only a qtr of it, which is, according to, prob around 100-200 calories. Big snack, but at least the eggs in it are good for me, right? hahahah.

I will eat more of it for lunch.

I know it is "bad" but I guess I will just eat a small serving of turkey later tonight, or a turkey sandwich on sourdough (very low calories, very surprising to me).

As long as it fits into the calorie limit right?

And now I will REALLY go on my lunch walk, instead of convince myself that I should just finish the last 10 pages of my book I couldnt finish yesterday at lunch. Hahah. I guess I will have to wait for Thursday for that.

Is it already Wednesday? Wow.

Also.... I asked my boss about something today, about going to some conference. I did this over email. I would LOVEEE to go, so I hope he says yes AND doesnt think I am over stepping boundaries. Hopefully he will just see it as initiative. Crossing my fingers on that one.

Oh yeah yesterday I kicked ass at the gym. I went on the Elliptical (all the open treadmills were broken for some reason and made me look like an ass trying to see if 5 different ones would work for me). I did some sort of hill cross training thing, and it ended up going to resistance 18 at the highest point, and I think the top it can go is 20, so that must be working hard.

My heart rate during the exercise was 162 on average, so i must have been working hard, right? I hope so.

I also did about 15 minutes of weight training on the upper body. My body started to feel less sore so I went for it. I was only able to do about 4 machines though (normally I do 6) because all of them were taken up by groups of guys. Apparently all the guys yesterday decided to go with a group of friends and all hang around in a group around all the upper body machines.LAME. oh well. I feel good still.

I think I might start incorporating push ups into my routine though. Maybe I can push past 10 at a time. I used to be able to do 30 in my Judo/Jui Jitsu days, but its been 1.5 years since then. Oh how I wish I could go back to that!

Thanks again Randi for the tips on upper body workouts. I am ALWAYS looking for tips, especially from people whose arms are as nice as yours! :-)

PS: Yes, I definitely prefer having an athletic body opposed to a "skinny" body.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Food Survey

1. How do you like your eggs? over easy. I really have no idea what it means but I heard people order it that way and discovered it is exactly the way I like, the only way.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee: espresso mixed with something sweet. Tea: Fruity teas when hot, or Black Tea when cold. Mmmm.

3. Favourite breakfast food: french toast. MMMMMMMM. Norms is great, prob my favorite place for breakfast. It is across the street from where I live, but I have somehow avoided the place for a few months.

4. Peanut butter: Chunky. I used to love smooth but now all I want is chunky. I have been eating Reduced Fat chunky peanut butter. Sad thing though I read some study that said I should just eat the full fat kind. But I am counting calories right now, and if I want to win the game, I am sticking with reduced fat right now.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad? Ranch and only ranch. Okay, well maybe BBQ sauce mixed with ranch, on the salad from CPK. MMMMM.

6. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi. Coke is gross, even though I have grown to like diet coke even though my taste buds continue to tell me its gross.

7. You’re feeling lazy, what do you make? Peanut butter and Honey sandwhich, grilled cheese, or spaghetti. Can you tell why I gained 25 lbs in 4 years? Geesh. When I was in college I only had about 15 minutes to eat all day so all meals had to be fast. Haha.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Valentines with canadian bacon and pineapple. it has been MONTHS though since I had some. MONTHS. but i only really craved it once or twice in these months.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make? Hmm maybe my black beans and rice with tortilla strips, pico de gallo, jalepenos and mozorella. mmmm.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories? anything from thanksgiving, or brownies (fun times in college), or Bakers or Rosa Marias. Mmmm.

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories? Chicken. Being sick for 2.5 years.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone? Yes. I can't think of any right now, but I know they do. Hmmm how about thai food, it reminds me of Teddy.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat? chicken (i am allergic), any veal (or any other kind of baby animal), cream of anything, indian food, uhh i am sure there are a lot more, but these are the worst ones.

14. What was your favourite food as a child? mac in cheese (still is)

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like? onions, i dont love them or anything but they are growing on me

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate? Yes, grape jelly, meatloaf, sloppy joes, etc

17. Favourite fruit and vegetable: Fruit: strawberries Veggies: corn, sweet peas and tomatoes

18. Favourite junk food: brownies

19. Favourite between meal snack: cheez-its (but am cutting down on those. ahha)

20. Do you have any weird food habits? Yes. I eat the same meal for weeks.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? I dont plan on ever being on an actual diet, just be on a healthy lifestyle, but during the healthy lifestyle I fill up on sweet peas, fruit, cottage cheese, and hmm I honestly havent found any great ones yet, but when I do perhaps I will update this.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like? Lots and lots of mexican food.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? with Thai I order VERY SPICY

24. Can I get you a drink? water, diet coke

25. Red or White Wine? red wine, although a few months ago I would have said white. oh well.

26. Favourite dessert? brownies (did I mention them enough here?)

PS: I resisted brownies all day

Brownies in the Break Room

There are brownies, white chocolate chip cookies and coffee cake in the break room. I would kill for brownies. Okay not kill. But I have been craving brownies for months, but did not want to make an entire batch and then eat them all (I knew I would if I made them). But now here they are, looking delish.

Also, I feel the guilt about how someone tried really hard to be nice by bringing it in, and by me eating it and saying thanks I am showing appreciation and gratitude toward one of my bosses here.

But, there are a ton of boys here who will do that and it will all get eaten so I shouldn't feel pressured by them or by myself to eat it. I should just lift the pressure off and not eat it.

Good thing I am starving right now, even after drinking a slimfast for breakfast and eating cottage cheese as a snack.

I would rather be happy all day from a comment about me looking nicer and healthier than the 10 minutes of happiness from eating a brownie though.

I know I could eat it though and fit it into my calories for the day, but it wont fill me up (probably just make me hungrier throughout the day) and I will end up eating more in general to fill the void I could have filled with the healthy food I brought to work today.

2.5 lb Loss In 2 Weeks! Thank you calorie counter....

124 lbs! 2.5 lb loss in 2 weeks!! Woo hoo! The scale is reacting to this whole eating less than 1600 calories a day! Woo hoo!

The first week of it (last week) I wasn't working out because I was sick. The second week now I am working out, so it might react quicker.

It is so silly that I kept freaking out about why I wasn't losing weight. Yes, I WAs eating less than before and working out a ton, but I guess I was still putting in more calories than I was burning. Now I am not. Now I am burning more calories than consuming. (I think that is how the 1600 calories a day with work outs works?).

Last night, I took my dogs out to go the bathroom and happened upon my neighbor. She owns a puppy boxer and our dogs love each other, and we just recently started talking. I was in my gym clothes still, which was obvious b/c of the sports bra, she mentioned how she was impressed that I find the time to work out, and that she thought she noticed that I was getting thinner. I can't believe someone I am not even really friends with noticed that. It came from someone who offered the information rather than being asked or forced to say it because they know how hard I have been working. You have no idea how great this made me feel.

Even though I have only lost 2.5 lbs now (which is only very recent) there is a noticeable difference. The working out has definitely slimmed my body a bit. I can't wait until it does it more!

I am kind of glad I didn't lose weight right away though because it did force me to not give up, and to get in the habit of working out and eating less. Otherwise if I lost weight right away I KNOW I would have just lost it and then gone right back to eating the same way.

Even though it is hard to be healthy sometimes, It is worth it.

Last night, as you probably guessed from what I previously wrote, I went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the tread climber and did 15 minutes of weights on my legs. I had a headache last night when I went to the gym (sinus pressure) so I didn't feel like running yet. I might start running tonight. I hope I can, I love doing it. But when sinus pressure is in full force it is impossible. It can be hard enough to just walk when I have it, so I should be proud of myself for even going at this point.

Not that the tread climber is wussy or anything. I went on it at 3.8 mph, and did the max treadless more than half of the time. I ended up burning about 450 calories or more yesterday, even without running.

Tonight I plan on trying to run in intervals for 30 minutes, and then doing upper body weights, even though I am still sore from Sunday. I might just do ab work, but honestly, I would rather do upper body work when I am sore than ab work. I hate it. Maybe I need to stop saying how much I hate it and just start lying to myself saying that I love it. Maybe this will convince myself that I like it enough to do it. Eh. Probably not, but positive can be very strong.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Weekend Wrap Up

My weekend went pretty well. I hope yours did as well.

I am still logging my calories as well. I had to guess for two meals though. What is it with restaurants now listing nutritional information? Lordy. haha.

On Friday, I knew I would be eating out at night so I didn't eat much during the day, in order to save the calories. I was starving by the time it was time to eat dinner. Maybe too hungry. Might not do that again, or as much. After work I went to the park with Mike and the two pups. We walked around it, and I did 8 pull ups (no two in a row, because I was off for a week from being sick). I also did 2 sets of the monkey bars. It was HARD because of my exercise break.

My dinner that night consisted of the BBQ Chicken Chop Salad from CPK, although I substituted the chicken for turkey because I am allergic to chicken. I had no idea it was an option and when I found out it was I was ecstatic. You have no idea. So many salads have chicken in them which annoys me endlessly because I can't eat them. But now that I know I can substitute things, I am so excited for more. Hahha. The salad consisted of lettuce (of course), cilantro, tomatoes, avocado, jicima, black beans, corn and a bbq ranch dressing. MMMMM. I only ate less than half of it. Mike helped me eat the rest of the half. Then he ended up eating the leftovers later. I also had a 2 bites of his tiramisu (heaven). I ended up being under calories that day, but barely. It was all totally worth it. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

On Saturday I hung around the house most of the day, and got some errands done. My parents came by later that evening because we were all going to head out to my little brothers football game. My parents, Mike and I went to BJS. I knew we would be going out to dinner, and I knew where, so I ate only a little during the day as well. I ended up getting the Giant Baked Potato with bacon and cheese (minus the butter and sour cream). I only ate half of it, and ended up having a few chips with salsa and a Berry Burst Cider. mmmmmmmmm.

By the way, the boys won their game, 44-0. It was awesome. It was my first time going to their game (I know I am a bad sister) and it was a lot of fun.

On Sunday I got errands done, and ended up going to t he gym. It was funny though, because I took a shower in the morning, and I realized during the shower that I was supposed to go to the gym. This happens quite often to me. Normally, I will just say I guess I will just go later, like at night, and then never go. So I decided I would still go to the gym, wet hair and all. I did, and it was great. It was my first time going back to the gym since getting sick last week. I truly missed it.

I ended up doing 30 minutes on the tread climber (it is my rest easy machine, even though it really isn't easy). I then did their circuit interval thing with the weights. My arms are very sore from it today.

Oh I also got turkey cutlets at the grocery store yesterday and cooked them. I cooked them in this Parmesan herb spice I got at the store. I cooked them in a light olive oil (just a little) and the spice. I also had trader joes mushroom risotto, which was not very tasty at all. The turkey though, was awesome. I was just disappointed because I ended up not cooking very much. By the time I was done with dinner, I was starving and found out I had 200+ calories left to eat for the day. So I ended up having toast with peanut butter and banana about 30 minutes after dinner. Mmmmmm.

I have been on turkey overload recently, but it is fine with me, because it is low in fat and calories and has more protein than my regular carb loaded meals. haha.

Somehow I was under my calorie limit all weekend. I guess I am getting a hang out of it.

Also at the grocery store I bought some good things to eat that are low in calories and yet still fill you up for hours.

These are the key things I bought:
*Morningstar Chicken Patties (150 calories and AMAZING)
*Low-Cal Hamburger Buns (150 calories)
*Cottage Cheese with Mixed Berry/Pineapple (130 & 110 calories)
*Turkey (60 calories, 1 gram of gat)
*Pepper jack Cheese (100 calories) (used to balance out the lack of calories in my turkey sandwiches.
*Slimfast (although generic brand) French Vanilla
*Starbucks Iced Coffee (haven't tried it yet, but it looks good, and is only 110 calories I think, opposed ot my 140 to 200 cal drinks I normally drink).
*Turkey breast cutlets (very small by the way...)
*Spices to make the turkey breasts tasty

Today I will be eating:
Breakfast: Slimfast, Trader Joes Iced Triple Espresso Late
Snack: Cottage cheese with mixed berries
Lunch: Morning Star Chicken Patty with Hamburger Bun
Dinner: Turkey breast cutlets, maybe the spicy kind....Will prob also add corn and broccoli. Mmm.
Drinks: TONS OF TEA to clear up the sinus pressure in my head... ugghhh.

Alright, my novel for the day is over.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Is Not Close Enough to Saturday

So yesterday, I definitely was under 1600 calories. Woo hoo! It wasn't much under 1600, but still, I succeeded! Listed below you can see what I ate if you are interested. I am. Hahha.

Last night was a lot of fun. Teddy and I went to Old Navy, Gap and Trader Joes. We had a good time, I got a few things. I am still only sticking to tops though because I am unwilling to buy pants yet, until I lose a bit more.

We also watched ANTM and Private practice. Good times.

She suggested dessert but I declined. Big thing for me. In fact, since I have been doing this calorie counting thing I havent had ice cream. Mostly because by the end of the day there are no calories left to use. I am trying to use them like cash. Hah.

Tomorrow we are supposed to go on our Saturday run. I am feeling much better today but not 100%. Definitely not up to running yet. Maybe tomorrow I will be. Otherwise I will go but take it easy.

On Sunday, if I am still improving, I am going to go to the gym because I didnt get to go all week. Plus I need to get in the habit of going to the gym on Sundays anyway.

I am doing great on calories today. I didn't realize until today that if you make a turkey sandwich on sourdough bread, you are really not using much calories! Woo hoo!

I want to not eat much during the day because on Friday nights we usually go out. Although we are supposed to study tonight so anything that will make us crash is out, like Olive Garden, which is what I really wanted.

I have a few hours left of work. Wish me luck :-)

Thu, Oct 11 2007 Cals
French Vanilla - Optima Shakes 180
Starbucks Doubleshot 140

Boil-In-Bag Rice - Long Grain White Rice 285
100% Organic Yellow Corn Tortilla Chips - Organic Tortilla Chips 130
S&W Black Beans 70
Mozzarella, Part Skim Milk Cheese 71

Sourdough English Muffins 150
Skippy Reduced Fat Super Chunk 190
Strawberry Nirvana Original 140

Whole Natural Almonds 97
Grape & Apple Bites 45
Total Calories Consumed 1,498

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sneeze Queen

Lordy. I am still sick. Make it stop.

Also yesterday I ended up barely going under the calorie goal by 40 calories. Even though the calorie goal is based on when I am working out, and I did not work out because I am dying of sickness right now. Hahah.

I dont think I am going to stop this calorie counting until I can actually stay within the correct amount for at least a week (perhaps two). That way I will have more of an idea how much I am really supposed to eat.

I am trying to make it a game though. Kinda like how many things can I eat that will fit into the calorie stock. What can I eat that has few calories but is still filling.

Although I have lost every day this week, I have found some foods that win. Homemade Beans and Rice, and fruit and veggies. Surprise Surprise. Basic foods. Foods that are in no way processed. Lordy.

Although what is lame, is that I would be consuming less calories if I was eating wheat filled things, but then I would probably die. Or rather be a lot like being bulimic all the time, except not out the mouth, if you get what I mean.

I am still trying to think of what to make with Turkey breasts.

My idea right now is to bake my turkey breast, put on some pineapple juice and some cherries on top (maybe not the healthiest?) and let it soak in that. Then I could chop it up and put it in some rice (SOME). Prob not the healthiest though but it sounds really good to me right now.

What is funny, is that because I hardly eat meat, I have no idea how to cook it. I knew I was allergic to chicken before I left for college, so I never learned how to make chicken on my own. My mom always cooked it for me. I assume that cooking turkey breats is similar, but I have no idea how to do it. Well the basic idea of throwing it in the oven. But... I remember my mom would add chicken broth to it to make it moist. I cant add chicken broth if I am allergic. I guess I could find vegetable broth. hmmm. I will look into this. Maybe go tonight since I cant go to the gym because I am still dying from this sickness.

I am miss sneeze queen today. Sneezing every 5 minutes or so. I am sick of it. I HATE sneezing and it ALWAYS makes me feel worse, not better like some people say they feel after sneezing. I have a headache as well and my back is sore. But the kind of sore where it can only go away after being sick. Sickness is the only cause. Or maybe because I have been sitting up straight all day at work all day, breathing in the steam from my tea.

I drank about 5 cups of tea yesterday from my HUGE coffee mug. Mostly for the amazing steam coming out of it.

I know I have already written a book today, a book of complete rambling, but I stil have things to say.

Yesterday I ended up going to Jamba Juice for dinner. I got the Strawberry Nirvana (the light kind), the regular size. I only ended up drinking half of it and then eating a sourdough muffin with peanut butter. I wanted to eat later though so I ate some of the pumpkin pie mix stuff I made the other day. I only ate a quarter of it though. I wanted more but while starting to eat it I went to add the calories and realized it was ridiculously over my calorie limit if I ate it all. So I just threw it away. Congrats for me, but that stuff was amazing.

I hope to eat more pumpkin though instead of other things soon. I know it is good for you. Maybe not the pumpkin pie mix though. Hmm.

Here is what I ate yesterday, note: the first day of TOM.

Wed, Oct 10 2007 Cals

French Vanilla - Optima Shakes 180
Starbucks Doubleshot 140

Taco Bell Crunch wrap supreme (no meat) 480

Strawberry Nirvana Original 140
English Muffin - Original 120
Skippy Reduced Fat Super Chunk 190

Keebler 100 Calore Pack: Grasshopper 100
Grape & Apple Bites 45
Beans, Snap, Green - Raw 34
Honey Maid Low Fat Honey Grahams 60
Pumpkin Pie Mix, Canned 71
Total Calories Consumed 1,560

Tuesday, October 9, 2007


So I started to feel bad on my way home from work. Mike is getting sick so I am super paranoid.

I was feeling all congested today but I figured it was just my allergies. But I took allergy medicine and I still feel bad.

I decided to go to the gym and work out anyway because I didn't go yesterday when I did feel alright (aside from being starving).

Also, on top of being sick(ish) today I was also starving. This whole calorie counting thing is killing me. Oh well.

So anyway I went on the elliptical for 30 minutes and died after the first 3 minutes. I continued for the 30 though. I then decided to eat a burger, because that is what I crave when I am getting sick. Once every 6 months or so I just have to have a Famous Star. Gross right? Right. Maybe it is because I need the iron? Who knows.

I had enough calorie allotment for it I figured. I had 600 calories to go. Turns out it was 650 calories, which is ridiculous but I have only gone over the calorie allotment by 50 points opposed to yesterday's horrific amount, which was over in the 100s.

I wonder how long it takes to get used to the lower calorie intake. I wonder if it is just so terrible right now because it is PMS time.

I think I am going to keep this Calorie Counter thing up for awhile. It allows me to log my food and activity. I haven't found any good gadgets to go along with it, but oh well.

I am going to take it easy tonight. Perhaps go take a shower and then watch Gilmore Girls (I have season one on Netflix right now, haha).

I am crossing my fingers that I am only having a massive allergy attack. Cross yours too for me :-) I was just sick about 3 weeks ago. I was just getting back into the routine completely, I don't want to go back to taking it easy. Oh well. That's life I guess.

Have a great night everyone!!

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Problem

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This is my first time in over a year actually tracking my calories. I know that I had cut down my calories since June, but had no idea how much I was actually eating. Lordy.

I thought I ate relatively healthy today. I thought it was pretty low in fat, aside from the coffee. I know I need to cut calories in the coffee, but honestly, there are some things I would rather skip out on.

I hope I can do better tomorrow.

I didnt end up going to the gym right after work, but I plan on doing a workout video tonight on Exercise TV on Demand.

I just washed the dogs, which I consider a workout. Geesh. But after my overindulgence of calories I think I better do a real workout. I miss the workout that I could have done today at the gym, but honestly I was too hungry to go to the gym tonight. I was ravenous. And I know me, if I go to the gym starving then I just do a crappy workout. I figured I could do a better one at home tonight. Especially after the comments suggesting I try something new :-)

By the way has anyone watched the show "Tell Me I Love You." I think this show is so progressive, at least as far as ageism and strong women are involved. It can kind of be depressing because it is so close to reality, and is so relatable to the problems I have had or am having. I am watching it right now and am going to work out afterwards :-)

Also the rest of the week, here is my workout schedule:

Tuesday: Lunch Walk (50 minutes uphill), Treadmill (30 mins), weights (15 mins)

Wednesday: Lunch Walk (50 Minutes uphill

Thursday: Lunch Walk (50 minutes uphill), Cardio at the gym (30 mins), weights (15 mins)

Friday: Park with Mike and the pups, will do pull ups and the monkey bars

Saturday: Mile Square Park Run, interval runs, 1 minute walk, 3 or 4 minute run for a total of 5-6 repetitions.

Any advice on good meals that do no contain chicken or massive amounts of wheat (I am allergic to both, sadly).

My new black beans and rice meal is great. I think it is healthy (although not entirely calorie wise). I add corn to it, and jalepenos, pico de gallo, mozzarella (i need find the low fat kind next time) and eat it with half a serving of corn chips.

I need a new plan. Most of my food consists of pasta, lean cuisine, bean and cheese burritos and once a week a type of meat. I dont really like meat, and the only lean one I can eat is turkey and that one gets gross to me every once in awhile. Although, perhaps if I get a good enough recipe I will make a meal with it. I need ideas. Hahah :-)

Alright, I am going to finish watching "Tell Me I love you". Geesh, I LOVE DVR!

Food Logging Begins Today

I am still frustrated with this whole lack of weight loss, but mostly because I just dont know any answers.

You cant ask your friends if they think you are really overweight. You can't really figure it out through arbitrary tests if you are actually overweight for your build.

I want to get my gym to do the body fat percentage test on me, but I heard that they often inflate the numbers so that you keep going to the gym.

When I look in the mirror I dont think I look too awful. But then when I look at the weight on the scale, and my body in comparison to others, it really gets to me.

Someone I know lost a TON of weight, and in a year and a half (or less?) she was able to lose over 140 lbs, and she is now almost less than me. I have been working for only 4 months, but lordy. Other people can lose 20lbs in 2 months and I can't even lose 1.

I am going to start logging the food I eat today. I already started this morning.

I think this will make me more aware of how many calories I am actually eating. The only thing about it though is that it makes me hyper aware of what I am eating, and in turn it makes me hungrier. Last time I did tihs I just stopped eating some of my home made food because I couldnt measure the calories that way. I just tried to make simple food instead. Heh.

I also bought slimfast yesterday and am going to try to drink it in the morning to see how it works. I drank it this morning and am actually not hungry for my morning snack yet. That is awesome. Normally, I get starving at 8am. Maybe this can work?

The only problem is that I am measuring my food intake during the week TOM is supposed to start. Awesome. Oh well, its probably best, because if I can control myself completely during this time than I know I can do it the other 3 weeks of the month. Haha.

Oh also, the fridge is still broken at work. I brought in a lean cuisine pizza. Hopefully it will be okay without refrigeration for a few hours. Eeek.

I will be going to the gym tonight. I will prob work on interval running. Or maybe I should switch it up? I think the interval running helps switch it up a little bit though... hmmm. I will think about this today and let you know what I choose.

I know I get the sorest though when I do squats with the at home workouts. Maybe I should try to do that at least once a week. I should do that on Sundays.

Yesterday I had plans to go on a run with Mike in the evening but it didnt end up working out. Mostly because it is windy here and I have TERRIBLE allergies. I felt terrible yesterday evening.

I am going to try to focus this week and see if there will be any changes if I really do keep the calorie count under 1600. I know I DO need to eat better than I did this weekend. ughhh.

Also, thanks so much for the comments. I really appreciate it! It really helps to brighten my mood about this!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Vent: BMI vs Body Fat Percentage

I took the Home Body Fat Percentage Test and according to my measurements in this test I have 20% body fat, which is below the normal range, closer to an athlete.

Average American:32%
Healthy normal*:
Caucasian: 22%
Top Athletes: 10-18%

I took the BMI test, which I know is not entirely accurate, but it said I was overweight. I am supposed to be 95lbs to 116lbs for my height of 5"1. I have over 10 lbs to go. Which I know in this community doesn't seem like a lot, but it is for me when 5 years ago I WAS 98 lbs. I know I am 5 years older, and my body should be more mature, but then again, according to my BMI 95 IS healthy, so maybe I was healthy. At that point I was doing sports, working out 3 hours a day.

Now that I started working out in June, my clothes now fit better, but my weight has not gone down. For an entire week (wow **sarcasm) I had kept 1.5 lbs off. But then it went back up to 126.5. It is like my scale is taunting me.

I went from NEVER working out, and eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat. I admit I could start to eat less, but I already am eating about what I should everyday. I don't want to drop my calories down to 1200 a day because I know it will never be a lifestyle change.

Why am I not losing weight?

People continue to tell me that muscle weighs more than fat, and that statement did work on me for about a month. But after that month I just get more and more irritated by it. Why after all this work these past few months am I not losing ANYTHING.

Then some people try to reason with me, saying that well how your clothes fit is what really counts. But my clothes are not falling off of me or anything still.

I admit my legs look much nicer, and I can do so much more physically, but I am still considered overweight. Which sounds so insane to me. I know I am a lot bigger than I know I can be, but I never thought I could be considered overweight.

Maybe thats why my doctor said next time I come in I should take a blood test next time I come in, because I bloated up 30 lbs from a few years ago. GEESH.

Also my Aunt, who is 55 years old, and is my height with my body frame and build, is 10 lbs less than me. Now that is depressing.

My Aunt though does run about 5 miles everyday though. Which I am working towards...

The only thing really keeping me going is the fact that I am doing so great physically. I can see improvement in my life, at least with how far I can run and for how long, and how much weight I can lift. That is encouraging.

In fact today, I even did 2 pull ups in a row right after doing interval running for 20 minutes.

At LEAST I am getting healthier body fat wise.

And why, oh WHY, am I focusing on the archaic BMI and NOT the body fat percentage test.

How do I feel better about this? How?

I hope no one thinks that I am just whining for nothing, and should just shut the eff up, but come on, anyone who works their ass off wants something real to show for it, some difference.

I am not just trying to get skinny, I am trying to get healthier. Okay, really, I am not even trying to be skinny. I admire the bodies that look lean, FIT, have noticeable muscles. That is what I want. It would be nice if my scale could at least tell me something different than usual.

I need to stop wasting my life complaining and just focus on being healthy. But having a goal is what keeps you motivated.

Oh also, I just compared measurements with my boyfriends and my calf is .5 inches smaller and my thigh is bigger. Lordy. How embarrassing. He does have skinny legs, but geesh. He is a 6"2 MAN and I am a 5"1 woman. Lordy.

If you have any good thoughts, or similar experiences please let me know.

Should I suck it up and ask my doctor, a dietitian? Stop relying on internet tests. Geesh.

Friday, October 5, 2007


People, I really need you to save my a$$ and start ordering electronic components. I am sure you need several hundred extra diodes right? Yea I thought soo......

Anyway, other than work not going as amazing as I was counting on it to go, life is alright.

After work last night, I went to the gym. I ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. Well actually, I did interval training on the treadmill. I walked at 4.0 mph for 2 minutes and then I ran at 6.0 mph for 2 minutes. THis totaled to be 30 minutes, and then the 5 minute cool down.

I then went and did leg weights. Problem though, the hip abductor machine is really hurting my hips. They started to go out of place everytime I used it this week. It hurts so bad when I do it I just have to stop. My hip has always given my problems, in those sorta positions, so I am not surprised, I just wish it would get over it. Or that I would learn how to do it better.

Also my favorite leg weight machine is broken. BOO. My favorite is the calf machine. I dont know why but I love it. Maybe it is because I like my calves and I know this will make them look even better.

I didnt do as many weights as usual because I was dead from the run, and Teddy was waiting at my place.

When I got home Teddy and I ate dinner, and then went to get hair dye. She made her hair dark last night! :-) It was fun.

I did not get enough sleep last night though. BUT.... the night before I DID get enough sleep and felt much better during the day. I think my goal next week is to get more sleep, and to keep track of all the food i eat.

Tonight I am going to watch movies with Mike, Teddy and Pat. We will prob get some sorta take out kinda food. I hope we will have healthy options. Maybe I can convince them to get olive garden. haha :-)

The rest of the weekend, I plan on going on my run on Saturday and then on Sunday I want to do a workout at home involving squats, because those kill me.

Other than those plans I dont really have any others, except to get stuff done. I am excited for lack of plans. Lets just hope it stays that way :-)

Todays Food Plans:
Breakfast: Chocolate Chip Frozen Waffles (I needed something sweet). And a Pumpkin Spice Latte with non-fat milk. Mmmm
Snack: Some fruit and perhaps peanut butter crackers
Lunch: home made mac n cheese (with low-fat cheese)
Dinner: No idea, but I bet we will eat out.

Thursday, October 4, 2007


Because I did a favor for a co-worker yesterday he said he would buy me lunch. I got a tasty ciabatta sanwich with blu cheese, turkey, bacon, spinach, onions, and balsamic dressing. It was delish. Probably terrible for me (calorie wise), which is why i only ate half of it :-) I am scared that I tried it now because it was amazing and I might crave it often. I guess there is this thing called self control. Maybe I should pay more attention to that :-)

I did not do my lunch walk again. I need to do it tomorrow. VERY MUCH SO.

I ate my lunch, then went to read, but instead called my mom. I had to calm her down about her financial situation so I didn't get anytime to read. Oh well.

I plan on going to the gym tonight and doing 45 mins of cardio. Or I will do 30 mins of cardio and 15 mins of legs (on the weight machines). I just don't want to over do it on the legs. But they arent sore anymore from Monday's workout so it shouldn't be a problem.

Tonight is hanging out with Teddy night. We get to watch some girlie television and talk. I always look forward to this night.

I only have plans for one night this coming weekend. I would like to keep it at that. I still just dont want to do anything, at all. At least outside of my house. I wonder when I will get over this.

Starting Monday I am going to list everything I eat for 2 weeks.

Here is my attempt today:
Breakfast: English muffin with PB & Starbucks Double shot
Snack: Snap Peas and ranch & Naked Juice
Lunch: Half turkey/bacon/blue cheese sandwich & 100 cal pack of Chips ahoy
Dinner: TBD (but think it will be the rest of the sandwich.)

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Fast Food is Gross

I dont even remember if I wrote yesterday. My days are a blur. I hope its not because my eyes keep burning (from allergies).

Last night I ended up going to the gym. i got there about 30 minutes late because traffic was awful. This made it so that all the good machines were taken, and I was STARVING. Normally, if I workout at that time I get starving in the middle of a workout but my body doesnt tell me until I am done with the workout because it is distracted or something. hehe. But when I start starving the workout sucks, and it sure did yesterday.

I went on the recumbent bike yesterday for 20 mins. I wanted to quit after 5 minutes. But I kept on. Then I went to do upper body weights. I did stuff on about 4 machines, wihch is good, but normally I do 6. I was to weak to continue so I left and went home.

I made homemade baked mac n cheese with lowfat cheese. Still probably not THE best, but its been a year or so since I have had this and was craving it for awhile. I also had a 100 calorie ice cream. I need to cut the ice cream out.

Today was my one day to eat out and because the fast food fast is over, I thought I would have some. I thought El Pollo Loco, but then I looked at the calories for their tiny burrito. It was ridiculous. Then I looked at the kids bean and cheese burrito from Baja Fresh, it was almost 600 calories. It is TINY so I didnt want to do that, obviously. I decided on Taco Bell, where the meal I wanted was only 480. That is more than I would like, but its better than all the other fast food options I could find. Geesh.

I think after exploring how fatty and calorie ridden all the fast food is, I might just go and quit it again. I probably will not eat it for awhile. Totally not worth it.

Tonight is my day off from working out. I plan on going to the dog park with the pups and Mike. Then we plan on going grocery shopping.

Mike and I are trying to get most of our regular chores done in the middle of the week now, instead of the weekend, so that we can use the weekend to get important stuff done and relax a bit. I havent been as successful as I wanted so far, but I am doing alright.

I spent most of my night last night trying to get my budget and bill spreadsheet done. It stressed me out every time I look at it. Geesh.

My sinus' hurt today. I took claritin. Maybe it will make it stop.

I am going to go get some work done. If only my eyes would stop hurting. I even bought eye drops at Wal-Mart at lunch to help with it, but its not helping yet. Boo.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Fast Food Fast Officially Over

On Saturday I went on a run with Mike and Teddy at Mile Square Park. We planned on doing interval training, and we did. We walked 1 minute and ran 2 minutes for a total of 24 minutes. We ended up walking more though because we had to get to our cars. hah :-)

It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. But I was sore all weekend. It gave me energy the rest of the weekend. I am looking forward to it now :-)

After the run, I decided to have my first fast food, after the fast food fast. I got the kids meal at Baja Fresh with a bean and cheese burrito. It was not half as good as I had remembered. And later that night, I felt really sick to my stomach. It was naseous or anything, it was just all messed up and it hurt. I am not sure if it was from the fast food necessarily, but that is quite a coincidence if not.

I had plans to go to a party that evening so I took some pepto bismol before the situation got out of complete control. Even after the pepto, my stomach still hurt the rest of the evening. Not sure if it would have felt worse if I had not taken the pepto.

My stomach stil hurts today, but today I blame it on having to take 2 birth control pills last night, because I forgot to take one the night before.

Maybe my stomach hurt because it didn't have the birth control it is used to. I doubt it, because it hurt before I was supposed to take it.

Because my stomach hurt, I was able to avoid eating all the tasty looking snacks there. They looked really good, so I guess it is much better that I had to miss them.

On Sunday, I did not eat too bad. At night I made this delicious mixture of black beans and rice. I added jalepenos, pico de gallo, cayenne pepper and salt and let them soak into the beans for a few hours. Then I made rice, and topped the beans and rice off with light sour cream, mozzarella cheese, homemade guacamole, and some chips. It sounds like a huge meal, but it was made pretty low fat for the most part. And it was realllllllllly good. Mike and Teddy both liked it, so that is a plus. I am going to eat it today for lunch :-)

Yesterday I tried to do some stretching exercises. I decided to try out some yoga on my Exercise on Demand TV. The video I chose was Yoga Stretch with some complete douche bag. I couldnt finish it because the douche bag just got on my nerves. How exactly do you relax with yoga when the instructor threatens that if you are not smiling right now you should just stop doing this and leave? Wtf? After that comment I had to turn it off because it was the last straw. I can't take instruction from a douche bag.

Today I plan on eating well and light (because my stomach hurts). And then I will work out at the gym tonight. I might do some interval training on my own. And then I will do some weights, with focus on the legs.

Tonight, I will probably get started on learning more about building websites and getting some things done that I didnt get to this weekend.

I need at least a three day weekend. Oh yeah, I had a dream last night that my boss announced all these extra days we would be getting off (paid). They all worked with my plans for the holidays and it was amazing. Too bad it was just a dream....


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