Sunday, December 23, 2007


My first day of vacation is over. It was spectacular. Although, health wise, really not the best. I started the day off with toast, in hopes it would squash my appetite for a long time. Didn't work very well though, when Mike suggested Mcdonalds breakfast about 3 hours later. We were on the road with dogs so the only food we could eat really was fast food. I ate my whole meal, minus the egg in my sandwich which grosses me out every time. We didn't end up eating again until about 7 pm. It was almost 12 hours of not eating. I was dying by the time we sat down to eat. I did not want a salad, I did not want anything healthy, I wanted some very filling food. I ended up choosing latke's because we were at a Jewish restaurant, and how can you NOT get latkes there? Well I can't. Hahha.

There is a gym at the place we are staying and a park to run to. Mike and I are going to run it tonight and go use the weights. We will also be heading to China Town in San Fran so we will be doing a lot of walking. I am really excited.

My food schedule is all off here, which is bad because sometimes I dont eat for almost 12 hours, and then eat a ton of food. But overall I think everything will even out, weight wise.

I am going to try to choose food more carefully today. I had some homemade banana pancakes so far. Mmmmmm. And we will probably eat some chinese food later.

Luckily I have internet here, so I am beyond excited.

This is a really scattered post. I apologize.

Have a great vacation, I hope to be writing more later!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Eating food you KNOW your allergic to is ALWAYS a bad idea

Okay remind me that eating foods that have "whole wheat" as the first three ingredient can strike me at anytime. I was good with Oatmeal Squares for a few days, but I ate them last night and now I am dead. Around 4am I had dreams about being sick. Then I woke up and realized it was definitely not a dream. I had to spend my hour before waking up being miserable. I feel slightly better, but I can tell it is thinking about starting up again. Yes, my stomach has a mind of its own. While I felt like I was dying though, my little pup curled up next to me as close as possible. It was so cute. Made the dying of sickness a little better.

For a fun picture: it looked something like this (without the smile from me because I was DYING):

Aside from my stomach problems, everything else is going well. Tomorrow starts vacation! actually today after 330pm starts vacation. I will be going to the company party tonight, but after that I am home free.

I will be packing and getting everything else together tonight (i haven't started yet). I need to remember to pack a ton of dog food as well, because the pups are coming with me, at least for the san fran trip! woo hoo. They will be staying at my mom's while I am in Austin and Houston.

Here is my plan for vacation
Dec 21 - Dec 24 - San Fran
Dec 25 - Lake Arrowhead
Dec 26 - Dec 30 Austin/Houston

So I think I already said that I will probably not be writing much. But I will thinking about it. I will be writing it in my head everyday. Does that count? Not for you, but perhaps for me. Hahah.

I will not be able to count calories, which is now foreign to me, but I think I will survive. I just need to remember to not over eat because I am not tracking. I will workout and keep the portions down. Hopefully I will come back in the 123s or 124s. I will be super annoyed if its more.

Not sure how long I will be at work today. I heard people left at 10am last year. I am hoping for at least earlier than 330 (when I normally get off) but I am in the division here where I never get let off early. Oh well. I can dream.

If I don't write while over vacation, I apologize. I hope you all have a great holiday and can wish you luck staying committed to staying healthy! :-)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Why Does Preparing for Vacation Seem So Stressful?

This week has been a total bust when it comes to working out. Okay I did workout on Monday, but not yesterday or the day before. Lordy. Why does preparing for vacation have to be so stressful? Hahha.

Yesterday I worked all day. Then I went to what was supposed to be the opening of "Fresh & Easy" to find out that it is not opening until January 9th. Either the security guard lied to us the other night or he just didn't know. Afterwards I came home, ate dinner, then had to get some stuff prepared for something today. Then my friend andrea came over to exchange presents. We talked for awhile. It was nice. I love seeing her. :-)

Then afterwards I spent the night working on a new blog, or rather an online portfolio of everything I have done. It is coming together now, but its not as nice as I wanted it. but I suppose for only working on it for 2 hours it is looking alright.

I don't think I will have time to workout tonight either. BOO.

But I did find out that the hotel we are staying in in Austin and Houston will have a gym! woo hoo! Plus in Austin there are a ton of trails to run on and I really want to try that out. Also in San Fran, we will be walking a LOT, so that should work off something.

I figure I would rather workout a lot on vacation so that I can eat some of the good food I want. I will probably not lose weight, but I want to at least maintain.

My weight crept up on me this week, but it was back down today! Woo hoo! I am going to try to stay in the 123's by the time I come back. Lets see if i can do it!

I have been skipping snacks all week though. It hasn't even been hard. I go for several weeks not really hungry, then go for few others where I am starving even after eating a TON. Not sure what is up with this, but I am taking advantage of the not being hungry phase. I have been waaay too busy and stressed this week to even think about snacks. Works for me. I am beyond surprised how many calories you can save if you don't eat them. crazy.

Planned Food for Today:
B: Toast with Peanut butter, starbucks doubleshot
L: Nates (fake chicken) tacos, vegetarian refried beans and pico de gallo (was planned yesterday but I ate subway instead)
D: No idea... probably a quesadilla or something easy.

Planned Fitness for today:

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Lists Make me Feel Better

When I am stressed I make lists like this:

Things Left to do before Vacation in 72 hours:

Go to Fresh & Easy (it opens today!!)
Prepare for meeting

Clean out Car
Girls Night
Make Peppermint Bark

Company Holiday Party

Things Completed This Week:
Oil Change
New Brakes
Car Wash (even though it rained 2 hours after, boo)
Buy Travel Supplies (shampoo, soap, etc)

I feel slightly better. Not sure how this will all get done.

Also last night was super lame. The boy said he would be home early, turns out he meant early in the morning, 230am. He didnt know he would be out that late, and didnt realize I would be worried that he wasn't home until 230am on a tuesday night. OF COURSE i was worried. It was raining outside and no one knows how to drive in it in California. And when you don't pick up your phone it just makes it worse. Grr. Whatever, its over. But still, I got no sleep last night and I have so much to do that I need every ounce of it. Also the dogs last night forced me to take them to the bathroom at 415am, when I wake up at 515am. WTF??? Basically last nights sleep was full of interruptions. BOO.

I am in a chipper type mood today though. I feel much better because our website launched.

I think I am going to start incorporating more pictures into my blog. I love when other people do it, so why shouldnt I?

I will try to take a ton of pictures on my vacation.

Planned Foor For Today:
B: Peanut butter on Toast & Starbucks Double Shot Espresso
L: Nates Chikn (fake chicken, soy or something) tacos and vegetarian refried beans with TONS of pico de gallo
S: trail mix
D: Either something from Fresh & Easy or grilled cheese.

Planned Fitness:
30 Mins of Cardio
15 mins of Weights

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Nov 2007

Nov 2007
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

I like how I look in this dress. But I still don't see how THIS is a picture of a girl who was told to lose weight by her doctor, and one with high cholesterol. I thought maybe I was just crazy, thinking that I should lose weight because people still tell me that I am crazy to want to lose. But then it turns out that I am not, that my freaking doctor wants me to lose weight because of high cholesterol. If your doctor tells you that you need to lose weight, I think that means you definitely need to lose weight.

Anyone else want to be brave enough to do photos of the last 5 years. Although I am not sure I could find one from 2006. I must have been pretty bad that year...

One Month Later... October 2007

October 2007
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Please Tell me This is Just a Bad Angle

Hopefully this is just a bad angle...
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Tell me this is just a bad angle. I will show you a picture of me a month after this, and you decide.

January 2007 in Brazil

2007 In Brazil
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

And you thought YOU had an ass. Look at that. hahahah.

I Had Brown Hair

I Had Brown Hair
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Since I am doing pictures I wanted to show that at one time I had brown hair. It looked awesome the first 2 weeks, but I am not sure I will ever go back.

Late 2005

Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

This is me after working 35 hours a week and going to college full-time (15 units). I lost a lot of weight just because I didn't have time to breathe. This ended up having the opposite effect a few months later....

2005 In San Diego

2005 In San Diego
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Yes... I was quail man in this. Isn't it awesome? Does anyone remember Quail Man? Doug's alter ego? It was awesome.

2004 In Ocean Beach

2004 In San Diego
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Can you believe I used to live 2 blocks from this? Neither can I. I miss it. Either way this is me in 2004. I am not entirely happy with it. This is when the weight starting coming on. I think I was around 112 here. I also think this is when I decided scales were the devil and I would not ever step on one again. (That did not hold up, obviously, even though the scale really IS the devil).


Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

In this picture I am wearing size 7 dickies, because they were on sell and I loved them. They were ridiculously big on me considering at this point I wore size 3 in dickies. But I still own them. And I still love them, even though they are discolored. I also do fit in them, and thankfully they are still pretty big on me.

2003 In a Swimsuit

Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

In 2003 when my friend sent me this picture of me, I labeled it "cara is fat". WTF was I thinking?

First Day of Dorms, August 2002

First Day of Dorms, August 2002
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

Look how gross skinny I was. Eww. That was still at 92lbs. I was wearing size 0 pants by dickies. They were falling off of me. I do NOT want to be like this again.

At 98 lbs I still had an ass

At 98 lbs I still had an ass
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

I saw some people posting pictures of their butts today, and wanted to show them that even at 98 lbs I still had an ass. hahahha.

Throughout the Years

18 and Skinny
Originally uploaded by choiceswechoose

People have been posting photos of their progress. My story started out where I was tiny. I started college at 92 lbs at 5"1' (although normal was 98, I had just gotten out of a bad break up, etc). In this photo I was 92lbs. I am now currently 124 5 years later. That really is not a healthy weight increase. Anyway, maybe for you who think I am crazy for thinking I am trying to get under 124 you can see why it is such a shock for me to be the weight I am now. Also, I want you all to understand that although I wanted to start this blog out in focus of losing weight, I now really want to focus it on being healthy. Although I wouldn't mind getting to my goal weight (105-108) I am only going to get there by being healthy. If the weight loss happens while I am being healthy than fantastic. If not, then at least I know I am healthy.

Also, even if you do think I am not huge right now (not in this picture, but NOW), remember that I do have high cholesterol, so getting healthier really does need to happen. Doctors have told me to lose weight, so apparently that is what I have to do....

Boo to Cars

Every time a road trip comes up my car decides to make me spend a lot of money on it. BOOOO.

I went in to get an oil change, but came out with an oil change and new brakes, which were actually necessary. And then when I drove off my freaking door handle broke. Awesome.

So I just ordered a new one online. Thank the lord for the internet. How else would you find a door handle? Yea....

Why do cars have to be so expensive. Geesh.

I have to workout from home now. Again. Can I just do it tomorrow? I might. I want to get everything wrapped up tonight. Like send out my brothers presents, and not workout.
Okay fine, I will try to workout.

4 Days!!!

So someone brought donuts in today. I have not had any. I will not. I cannot. I already had breakfast anyway. I brought in toast and made it here with peanut butter. Mmmmm. Delicious.

Yesterday I skipped my snacks, mostly because I was busy, and ended up having a hard time consuming enough calories in the evening. strange huh? Yes.. very.

I had a whole foods potato corn cake, and some rosarita refried beans topped with HOT pico de gallo. it was amazing. AMAZING. All of it was so spicy my nose was running, etc. My friend Teddy describes what its like eating spicy food best, "like an orgasm in my mouth." I have to agree... fully.

So today at lunch I was planning on getting the oil change. But because my gas is low I might just fill up at lunch then go through those gas station car washes. Too bad today its sorta rainy. Maybe I will have to re-think that. Either way my car needs to be clean before I go to Mike's parents place.

I am already sore from my workout last night. Aerobics type things always kill me more than my regular gym experiences. Maybe I should consider coming into work an hour later, even an half hour later so that I can be just in time for the classes at my gym. This wouldn't start until January but it is a good idea. Has anyone had this experience before, where you get so much more out of an aerobics class than an actual run and strength training session?

I have to get a lot done today so I don't stay late again. By the way, the countdown for vacation is on... 4 days!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007


If I ever want to feel completely uncoordinated, I know now that I just need to try to do some aerobics workout. Thank the lord I have only done it at home, ever, because seriously it is embarrassing just looking at myself while doing it. ahha. The problem with this though is that because I am so uncoordinated I often do the workout wrong. I need to just get really amazing at one and stick with it. Exercise TV on Demand is my friend though, because burning calories at home kicks ass when you don't have time to go to the gym.

I stayed late at work today getting things done, so I didnt have time to go to the gym. The dogs needed to be let out, after being alone for about 7 hours. So I took them out and then ate dinner, waited a bit and then worked out. I feel very accomplished now.

Now I just need to start getting some things done around here.

Tomorrow my goals are to get an aux cable so we can listen to music on my ride home, and also get an oil change. I want to do it during lunch but last time I did it took almost over an hour. It stresses me out. Plus the place I went to last time was LAME. I hate taking my car to even get an oil change because they always try to screw me. But how would I know? I dated a boy before who did oil changes (don't ask, I prefer I didnt just admit I dated him, puke) and he even told me they screwed you or else they would get fired. awesome right? right...

Alright wish me luck tomorrow!

Up All Night

Last night I was up all night coughing. I couldn't fall asleep because I started to think about all the things I needed to get done before I leave for vacation. It started with the laundry that needs to get done, the oil change I need to get, cleaning my car out, packing, making sure all the presents are accounted for, etc. Then I started to cough. I had that never ending tickle in my throat as well. Like you want to cough, and would if someone weren't sleeping right beside you. I still had to cough, and did quite a bit last night, but not as much as I wanted to, which really made the situation worse. Tonight I will be taking nyquil before going to bed. I realized I needed it at 1230am, but I couldnt take it then because I would have to wake up in 5 hours and I didn't want to be all nyquil groggy. Needless to say, today I will be tired and cranky :-)

My goals for today include going to wal-mart at lunch to buy travel shampoos and some other random things I will need for the trip. I will also go to the gym today. Then I will clean out my car when I get home.

Tomorrow I will take my car in to get an oil change at lunch, unless I can find some place near me.

On Wednesday I will do laundry at night.

On Thursday I will start packing.

On Friday I have the company holiday party so I will go to that and finish packing.

On Saturday we will be leaving really early to head up to San Fran.

I am so excited about my vacation. I have so much planned, so much fun to be had. Also my pups will be going with me to San Fran, which will make the vacation even better. They won't be able to go to Austin with me, but oh well.

I hope I start to get better soon. Although I think the coughing part is the last lap in my sinus infection. Cross your fingers for me, because in a week I will be going to my parents house at 6000 ft elevation, and then in an airplane then down. Poor sinus cavities.

Alright, have a great week! I will try to update all week, but I am not sure how much I can update over vacation.

Planned Food for Today:
B: Strawberries n creme oatmeal
L: Trader Joes Vegetarian fried rice & egg roll
D: Whole Foods Potato Corn Cake, salsa and either rice or beans. Mmm.

Planned Fitness:
30 mins elliptical (going slow because the lungs are gross0
15 mins weights

Sunday, December 16, 2007

If sleeping counts as exercise...

then I rocked it today! hahaha.

I was actually supposed to work today from home, but found out at 3pm yesterday that I didn't have to. All the possibilities of what I could do on Sunday swirled through my head. I ended getting two things done at least. Hahah.

I went to dog park with mike, the two pups, my neighbors and their boxer. It was awesome. I miss weekend days at dog park. So did the dogs, they love it!

Afterwards Mike, Teddy and I went to Whole Foods for their breakfast and 25 cent mimosas. I know, I know, not the best, but whatever, it was totally worth it. The breakfast was great, and definitely high in protein, which is probably why I am still full as I type this at 5pm. We had a great time and I even bought some great stuff.

I finally was able to get the potato corn cakes that I have been wanting for months now. I am so excited to try them. Mmmm.

After the trip I came home and passed out for 2.5 hours. Lordy it was an intense sleep as well as a much needed one.

On Saturday, a day in which I was also supposed to work but then ended up not having to, I met up with my mom for her birthday celebration. We met at a shopping center in her area. We got nonfat gingerbread lattes and shared a pumpkin cheesecake muffin at starbucks. Delish. I let my mom have the bigger piece. Haha. After that we did a lot of shopping, and then went to Mexico restaurant, which is our fave restaurant in town. I got a cheese enchilada with a side of beans and rice. I made the decision to not get the margarita though, mostly to save on the calories.

Once I got back I had a terrible headache. I sucked it up though and bought the stuff I needed to make sugar cookies because I was determined to show Mike how much fun it was to make them. We did end up making them and it was fun, even though a bunch of burned and the cookie cutters didnt really work and I had to make them by designing them myself. This actually made it more fun though, for me. Haha.

We ended up just watching basketball last night and hanging out. Teddy came over, we hung out with our neighbors for a little while and had fun. I was dead tired though come 11pm. Hahah. Oh well.

I have not been counting the calories this weekend although I have been making conscious decisions to not eat bad amounts of bad foods, or really just not eat terrible amounts of food in general.

I will not be able to count the calories while I am on vacation starting next Saturday so I might as well. Also the counting the calories thing really deters me from eating homemade food because it is SUCH a pain in the ass to count the calories. I am just sick of it.

I am much better at doing it on the weekdays and will prob continue to do that. But geesh. It is soo annoying to log everything.

Anyway, work next week will probably be hard. I am hoping I can get working out in. I will also try to get some runs in while visiting San Fran and Austin. Anyone from Austin that reads this? If so, please let me know of some good trails to go on, because the appeal of them really are encouraging me to move there faster. haha :-)

Alright, have a great day!

Saturday Food:
B: Nonfat Gingerbread latte, half pumpkin cheesecake muffin
L: cheese enchilada, rice and beans and some chips and salsa
D: peanut butter & honey toast (two pieces)
Dessert: 3 sugar cookies and half a beer

Sunday Food (so far)
B: oatmeal squares
L: quiche, roasted potatoes, 3 strawberries, jicama, 2 mimosas
D: No idea, either trader joes vegetarian fried rice or potato corn cakes

Friday, December 14, 2007

Long Week

It has been a very long week. It has been "crunch time" at work to get a bunch of stuff together to launch our new website. It is Friday night and I am still working, at least right now at home. I have to turn in 2 pages of content by the end of tonight. I am pretty much finished with one, but I am so tired I wish I was done with both.

I almost was going to have to work tomorrow. Yes on Saturday. Yes on the day I was supposed to visit my mom for her birthday. Thankfully my grueling work paid off today because now I don't have to come in! I will still have to do a lot of work on Sunday (from home, thank the lord), but at least I can do that at home and still see my mom tomorrow!

I am supposed to meet up with my mom closer to where she lives and do some Christmas shopping with her then go to lunch with her at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. Unfortunately tonight I felt like I deserved to eat a huge burrito from a fast food Mexican restaurant. I know it wasn't good for me, was even worse than taco bell, but it was damn good. I ate around 1200-1300 calories all week so I don't feel too terrible. I just need to make sure I watch what I eat tomorrow for my mom's celebration.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. It should be a good time. Mike and I may also do some baking. I think I will just have fun making it and then give it to my co-workers. They have more recently appreciated the junk food I brought in for them. Works out nicely for me.

What I ate today:
B: Luna Bar - Caramel Nut Brownie (as a review... gross)
L: Subway Roast Beef Sandwich and Baked Lays
S: Apples
D: Bean/Rice/Cheese burrito

Day off

Planned Food for Tomorrow:
B: Toast with peanut butter and Starbucks Coffee
L: Enchilladas with beans and rice
D: Salad with turkey, beans, corn and pico de gallo

Planned Fitness
LOTS of shopping :-)

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Last night after getting home I immediately made dinner, which consisted of amazing Trader Joes Gnnochi in a tomato sauce and mozzarella. I also added some meatballs in there for some protein. I was even barely over 1200 calories for the day. This is because I ate no snacks because I was not hungry at all most of the day until dinner.

After dinner, I took a shower. Then I took some nyquil and went into my bed and watched October Road on my computer and then a movie on netflix's "watch instantly" thing. I only ended up watching about 25 minutes of the movie before I started thinking really weird thoughts induced by the nyquil. haha. So I decided to go to sleep, which was around 845pm.

I ended up sleeping through the night and woke up feeling a lot better compared to yesterday. I am definitely not out of the woods yet, but I am feeling a lot better. The thought of calling in sick did not cross my mind.

Oh also, this past week I have been eating around 1200-1300 calories a day. I got to 123.2 yesterday and then today I went back up to 124.4. I know, I know, I shouldnt weigh myself everyday, but how weird is that? go up a lb by getting more sleep, and not eating much at all. I am going to say it is a fluke increase, or maybe just an increase in mucus that is accounting to a lb. hahaha. Who knows. I dont care, not a big deal. At least I am out of the 125's. I hope I stay out of those forever. FOREVER.

Oh, just remembered this, I had a dream last night that I was about to make all these amazing cookies. It must be from hearing about all of them from you guys! hahahaha. jk.

But mike has never made sugar cookies. Wtf? I want to make them with him. I think it would be fun. Then we could give them to his family for xmas, and then my family for xmas. I wouldn't eat them all, I really dont like that that much so it wouldnt be a problem. I am generally pretty good with ignoring the junk food in my house. I went a whole week not eating some amazing oreo cupcakes that I made. They ended up going bad and I had to throw them out. I wasn't even really tempted. it is another story though if it is brownies, but that just means I can't make those. Those are illegal in my house. Hahaha.

Alright, there is a lot to be done today. I am going to work on that all day, then go home for girls night.

Ps: how do you get a creek out of your neck without a massage?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Plagued with Sickness...

So last week I was plagued by hunger, and now this week I am plagued by sickness. It started by creeping slowly into my throat being sore. Then my head started hurting. Then I started to cough yesterday. So last night I went to bed early, used a heat pad to help the drainage in my sinus' and also do the nasal lavage or whatever. Usually the morning after I feel great. This morning i woke up feeling worse.

It could partially be due to the fact that my body refused to sleep. Also by the time I did get to sleep Ender decided it was a great time to reveal to me that he ate something disgusting sometime that day by puking it up at 2am. Lovely. Cleaning that stuff up at 2am is AWESOME. Poor little guy though, he never learns that eating things other than his dog food will make him sick. Sidenote: He got parvo as a pup, and somehow survived, albeit his tummy is super sensitive to anything other than food.

I almost called into work sick today, but I have a lot to do, and our new website is supposed to launch on Friday, and I am part of what will help it actually be able to launch. Just part though.

Anyway last night even though the throat was hurting and my head was aching I worked out. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 15 mins of weights. I was able to do one set of 240lbs on the leg press, and then 220lbs for my next two sets. It was awesome. My legs are sore today. Its great.

I really am not hungry, but should eat. But the thought of food sounds disgusting right now. I have oatmeal ready to eat (once I heat it up) so perhaps I will do that. I brought my beans and rice meal today, but I think I might just get a jamba juice type drink with an immunity boost in it for lunch. swallowing real food just sounds painful right now.

Oh also, yesterday, I was able to meet my protein goal, and stay within calorie limits. Woo hoo! I think I am finally getting it, or rather how to do it with foods I actually like.

Excuse me while I go dream of a nap with a warm blanket over me while I write about diodes.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tuesday's Are Very Long

So this morning some dude seriously tried to kill me TWICE on the road. It was awesome. He swerved into my lane to hit me twice. What a complete douche. I almost called 911 on him because it was so dangerous. Do you call 911 when a guy tries to kill you on the freeway? They always say to call if there is a drunk driver, what about a psychotic driver? Hmm.

My throat is killing me today. Its been gradually getting worse. But I am drinking tea, and will keep it up throughout the day. I canNOT wait for time off. 9 days left then I have 11 days off. Woo hoo.

Also this morning I was 1lb down (dont want to jinx it though so I will not celebrate too much). Probably dehydration. Actually I have no idea if I am dehydrated. I have been drinking water a lot, but with the throat thing I am constantly thirsty. Later today I am guessing I won't be able to talk. And the head is hurting so i can't turn up the headphone to block everyone else out while writing. Time to write from home right? Yea......

I only ate a little over 1200 calories, which is ridiculous for me. But the foods I chose filled me up really well and were low in calories. Sweet!

Alright I have to head out and get things done. Have a great day everyone!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Totally Kicked Ass at the Gym

So as you can tell by the title, I totally kicked ass at the gym. AND I wrote a long entry earlier today, and thought I posted it, and apparently not because it is not showing up. Oh well. It was probably boring anyway. Just talked about how my oatmeal kicked ass this morning and that I was only able to get half of it down. And that it kept me full most of the day. And that I was again dizzy, light headed and had trouble breathing. Which I attribute to my lingering sinus infection.

Also it talked about how I am continuing my optimism, if only because the sound of nasty greasy food sounds disgusting to me. haha.

Today was a great day though. I lost .2 lbs (which is always an amazing feat for me, esp after my horrible Saturday night (at least diet wise)), I loved my food, and felt full most of the day. Oh and I kicked ass at the gym. I went on the elliptical for 45 minutes, with the resistance pretty high and what not. I also did a lot of weight lifting. In two of the machines I was forced to stare at myself in the mirror while lifting things and my muscles are looking much nicer. Not as nice as I would like,
I Don't Believe in Dietsbut then again I was surrounded by literal women body builders and fitness class teachers (don't ask, very weird).

I am thinking this week will be great. Especially since I discovered I have a lot of food to eat, and a lot of already made meals for lunch and dinner. Woo hoo!

Food Eaten Today:
B: Oatmeal with Frozen Berries. mmm
S: Trail Mix
L: Salad with tomatoes, mushrooms, bean sprouts, feta cheese,turkey and chipotle lime ranch (can I say amazing?)
D: Grilled Cheese sandwich with tomato soup (ultimate comfort food and found out not too bad for me, woo hoo!).
S2: Oatmeal Cookie

Total Calories: 1271
Carbs: 164g (met goal, actually lower than usual, much lower)
Fat: 46g (met goal)
Protein: 49 g (did not meet goal and I even ate meat and ate trail mix! geesh).

Total Fitness Today:
45 minutes of elliptical
10 minutes running with the pups around the complex
15 minutes of weight training

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Little Kid

Last night I rebelled. I was stupid. Beyond stupid.

Last night Mike and I decided it would be a great idea to stay at home with the pups and watch Superbad. We did do that, but it ended up involving a lot more drinking than I thought it would. I never really drank in college, so I really am not all that aware of my limitations. I definitely hit the limits last night. It was all a big "fuck you" to my body that betrays me even though I treat it so well.

I know that it was stupid what I did last night, but I wanted to feel normal, as if I never did get the news that for the rest of my life if I would like to avoid heart disease I have to treat my body better than probably 99% of the world. I guess its really not that bad having to do it. Actually its probably a lot better that I am in this situation so that I can shape up now.

But I do not think I will ever do what I did last night again. I felt awful this morning. Awful. I still feel nauseous. That is mostly due to the fact that I have major sinus drainage today and that the eggs I cooked this morning had turned, but I didn't officially realize it until I was finished eating it. Apparently when eggs smell like feet, they are not good. Yes, I know this now. Real well.

I went to the grocery store today, thinking that I went shopping while nauseous than I wouldn't buy much. But somehow I ended up spending $96. I blame it on the fact that I bought all healthy food. Hahah. I bought oatmeal and made a huge batch today so that I can heat it up at work in the morning and eat it. I made it with frozen mixed berries, which was awesome because it made it sweet enough to eat without added sugar. Mmmm.

I also bought a lot of tasty stuff for salads, and some turkey, and a bunch of veggies, and cuties(clementines), and some other stuff that I can't remember right now. I am excited to eat the healthy tasty food this week, especially after last night. I do not want to smell alcohol or greasy food for a really long time. Maybe it was actually good what happened last night. hahahaha.

By the way has anyone who reads this see Superbad yet? Can I say HILARIOUS!?! hahaha. I keep laughing at really random times all day with flashbacks of the movie. haha.

I will be back on track next week. I am not worried. It will happen. I am not going to call myself a failure, or get knocked down time and time again over my body betraying me. I will just have to accept it for what it is and treat it properly. Its like a relationship. Hahah. Okay I hope you had a great weekend!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Guess Who Has High Cholesterol?

About an hour after I said I would be more positive about my efforts, I broke down. This happened after my doctor called me back with my test results. One test that was abnormal before came out normal this time, which is GREAT, because it has tormented me for a good 6 months. The blood fasting test though, turned out unexpected results (to me). Turns out I do not have diabetes, hypoglycemia or any other disease, but I do have high cholesterol. I guess its not THAT high, but its higher than the "desirable" level.

Apparently you can be 23 years old, 124 lbs at 5"1', eat healthy and work out and STILL have high cholesterol. It was 218, which is not too bad, considering its on the very low level of high cholesterol, but STILL. How do I have high cholesterol? The nurse said it was probably genetics that were cursing me and that I should continue working out and eating healthy.

15 minutes after the call I took my lunch. I called Mike up and cried like a freaking baby. It wasn't just the high cholesterol, it was a culmination of me being freaked out about my other test for 6 months and the relief it was normal, and the fact that I was already upset about not losing any weight even though I have been kicking my own ass for months trying to. So not only am I not losing weight but I am technically not exactly as healthy as I had hoped after all my hard work. Its like I got nothing out of it, which is just me being irrational, because obviously I have gotten a lot out of it. I am definitely in better shape now, even though the scale doesn't show it, or my cholesterol.

My brother, who is only about 3 years older than me also found out his cholesterol was high, which is also crazy. He is an avid mountain biker, climbs mountains, goes to the gym and eats VERY well. So, I suppose it is probably just genetics. My dad's side has really high cholesterol, so it makes sense.

I just get upset because when I care about things, like getting healthier, I work my ass off at it. I was the girl in high school with a 4.3 GPA, in all the honor/ap classes, and the all the clubs, worked for a community newspaper and did sports. I was the girl in college who got a 3.4 gpa and worked 30-40 hours a week 90% of the time.

I kicked ass at that stuff and when I worked hard I got good grades and great jobs. But when it comes to health, I guess it doesn't matter if you try harder than someone else or everyone else, because your health is limited by your own set of genes and that is what really determines your success. Everyone is different. I can work out 5 times a week and eat less than 1600 calories a day (of healthy food) and still not lose (much) weight and accumulate high cholesterol.

Some people lose 6 lbs in one week, other take months to lose one. Its what happens. I just need to accept I was given a certain set of cards and deal with it. Life is not fair, no one said it was, so I just have to suck it up and deal with what I have. Which I guess, in perspective, is not that bad.

Even though this upset me (equivalent to failing a test to me or something yea know) I am going to use it at motivation to do better. I am going to continue to monitor my calories and what not through sparkpeople (even though its a huge pain in the ass) and eat even better. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to eat (that does not involve chicken or wheat) that will reduce my cholesterol? Oatmeal? Fiber? Veggies?

I am going to continue to be optimistic, even after my breakdown today, or I should say, especially after my breakdown today. I am not going to whine and complain as much, I am just going to try to do what I can to lower the weight and the cholesterol. There is no use in complaining right? (except for purely cathartic reasons, heh).

Turning it Around...

I am going to be more positive. I am doing great other than what the stupid scale says. Sorry for so much complaining.

I am going to do better. I am doing great now. I am keeping it up. And kicking jack the hell out.

Being negative doesn't solve anything, and being positive will at least make me happier, which solves the bad mood. Haha :-)

I hope you all have a great weekend. This is crunch weekend for me. I have to get a lot of writing done this weekend for work. I also am going to get in two workouts and keep eating healthily. I made another trip to Trader Joes last night and picked up some good stuff to keep me on track. :-)

Alright, I am back in action everyone. I am not going to be singing oldies anymore. Although singing that song to the fat really did make me laugh.

Hit the Road Jack...

Dear Extra Weight,

I was told that the only way to combat you is to workout and eat less. I have been doing that. Although I have had a few slip ups every once in awhile, I still have not screwed up enough to have to be stuck with you after 6 months of trying to get rid of you. Why do you keep hanging on? Can you please just pick up and leave? I am over you, I am over this battle. I try so hard to get rid of you, I try to sweat you out through exercise. I eat healthier so you will reject me. I even eat less so you will be too starved to want to stick around. Why do you keep coming back to me? Part of you leaves for a day or two, but then you creep right back.

Other weight leaves other people who use these same strategies. Why are you different? Why are you so stubborn? LEAVE ME ALONE. Do I need special forces, like a fatbuster (similar to Ghostbusters), to get rid of you? If so, please let me know.

Yes... I understand that some of you has left and just been replaced by muscles, but that is not good enough, I want all of you to leave. I want to see the same success that other people see who work just as hard or often times not as hard.

My readers are probably getting bored with my rants about how you keep sticking around even though I tell you to leave. I don't think they understand that I am practically holding a gun to your head, but you still insist on testing whether I will really complete the mission.

People are going to start thinking that I MUST just not be cutting enough calories, maybe they think I am even lying about how much I eat. I must be, they must think, because why else are you not leaving me alone? I must not be trying hard enough they say. I just need to suck it up a little longer and then you will leave. Its a scientific fact that if you burn more calories than you consume you lose weight. Why do you try so hard to defy science?

These people are going to start getting sick of cheering on a person who never gets anywhere to close to actually kicking you out for good. I have become the underdog, the underdog that will remain that... forever (it seems).

People are getting sick of you, and whats more important I am getting sick of you. So just leave already. Give me some incentive to stay motivated so I can make all of you leave and have people proud of me. I dont want you at all, do you understand? You are not good enough for me. You can actually make me sick, even unhealthy. Why would you want to do that to someone? Why do you want to torture me? You are like a manipulative ex boyfriend, and I thought I got rid of those types in my life. But I haven't.

I'm ending this. I am leaving you for good, so please do not come back.

(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)

Woah Woman, oh woman, don't treat me so mean,
You're the meanest old woman that I've ever seen.
I guess if you said so
I'd have to pack my things and go. (That's right)

(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)

Now baby, listen baby, don't ya treat me this-a way
Cause I'll be back on my feet some day.
(Don't care if you do 'cause it's understood)
(you ain't got no money you just ain't no good.)
Well, I guess if you say so I'd have to pack my things and go. (That's right)

(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)
What you say?
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.)
(Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more.)

(don't you come back no more.)
Uh, what you say?
(don't you come back no more.)
I didn't understand you
(don't you come back no more.)
You can't mean that
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, now baby, please
(don't you come back no more.)
What you tryin' to do to me?
(don't you come back no more.)
Oh, don't treat me like that
(don't you come back no more.)


Thursday, December 6, 2007


Ever have those days where your body keeps telling you to eat, whether or not you ate 15 minutes ago? I have been told before that I may be hypoglycemic, but I was never really tested. But this week, especially today, I am starved all day. Its not that I just want to taste food, its that my body is yelling at me to EAT EAT EAT. If I don't, I get super out of it. I feel like fainting and I definitely cannot concentrate at all. And its not that I can't concentrate because all I can think about are cupcakes and snickers bars, its that I can't concentrate because my body feels all out of whack.

And I shouldnt feel this way because I have eaten today. I had yogurt with high protein granola, and a kids burger and fries from carls jr (yes I know, disgusting, but when I feel like this I have to have red meat). I am still hungry, and I am still light headed, and the food has been sitting in me for over an hour. My body thinks I haven't eaten though for some reason. It thinks I am starving myself. And I can tell you this, I NEVER starve myself.

Mike says its because I am at a certain bio rhythm. Friends say its because my body needs to recharge. But I think something is actually wrong. Is it normal to feel light headed and not able to concentrate a few days a month? Maybe it is. Maybe I expect myself to be normal all day everyday. Maybe I am the hypochondriac my boyfriend thinks I am. But maybe I am not, and maybe there really is something wrong with me.

Before I found out I was allergic to chicken, doctors and everyone else blamed it on me being too stressed (I was in freaking high school, how stressed could I have been?). Turns out something was really wrong with me, and that its NOT normal to basically have the stomach flu every single day for 3 years. Probably why I was only 98 lbs in high school and then shot up 20-25 lbs in the next 3 years after my diagnosis where I stopped eating chicken. That and the fact I was in swimming and water polo where practice lasted about 3 hours or more a day....

Alright, is this normal? Anyone know?

I think I might call my doctor today to see if my results ever came back from my blood test and other tests. ehhh.

Body Fat Percentage - Does 24 Hour Fitness Lie?

Last night at the gym they had a free body fat percentage test that they were giving to anyone who was brave enough to do it. I promised myself that next time I saw this I would suck it up and give it a try. I have heard that 24 hour fitness always exaggerates your body fat percentage, perhaps to keep you going there. I know that when they gave me the test, I could tell they weren't doing it entirely right though. The girl went to grab the fat on my hip bone, and when she couldnt grab anything she said wow, you don't have any fat here, and then proceeded to grab the fat above on the tummy instead. Does that make sense? Since I can't find fat here I am just going to use the measurement on another part of you that DOES have fat and use that instead? Not sure...

Anyway, they told me that for my age, I am actually (barely) over fat. It says I am 28.9% fat, and that 28% is healthy. But then I looked at what the World Health Org (WHO) said is healthy for my age, and it said 21%-33%. But then I also saw what the American Council of Exercise said women athletes should be 14-20% body fat, women classified as fit should be 21-24% body fat, and acceptable is 25-31%.

I am not sure what to believe. I am not even sure the percentage was right. Its not like the measured the fat in my ass or anything (then it would say I am baout 50% body fat... hahaha, jk).

Either way I am not letting it bring me down, but I would really like to know what is accurate when it comes to body fat percentages, and where I can get a test done that I know is accurate and the tester does not have other incentives. Does anyone know? Any opinions?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Good ole Wednesday

The meeting last night went better than I expected, even if it did interrupt the workout.

I felt terrible yesterday anyway and wouldn't really be able to do a good workout. I just caught up on some television shows I had recorded and cuddled in a blanket. It was nice.

Today will be a busy one. Filled with more meetings, more stress, and hopefully a workout tonight. Or rather, definitely a workout tonight :-)

I am broke beyond belief right now, so I am definitely eating the lunch I brought instead of going out like I truly want to. I made a good lunch at least though, so it wont be too horrible giving up going out. haha.

Where did all my money go?

Food Planned for Today
B: nonfat yogurt with whole foods granola (only 200 cals!)
L: nates fake chicken tacos, nonfat refried beans with tons of salsa and a sprinkle of 2% cheese
S: whole foods trail mix
D: no idea. maybe one of my trader joes meals I bought last weekend. hmm.

Exercise Planned for Today:
30-45 minutes of cardio
15 minutes of lower body weights

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


Last night I finally made it to the gym! Last week I basically worked out from home or went on a run outside. Well actually last week I hardly worked out, and only once worked out at home, and then once went on a run outside. Oh well.

Anyway... last night I did 35 minutes on the elliptical at resistance 10-12 and ramp 10. It was hard. and then I did some upper body weights. I had some trouble with some though because I couldn't figure out how to adjust some of them and they were all made for tall people, not people who are only 5"1. Lordy. Oh well, I managed for the most part.

I am supposed to have a phone meeting with someone at 5pm today. It interrupts gym time, so I suppose I should just work out at home after it. No big deal. Plus my workout at home really kicks my ass more than the one at the gym. So really, why do I feel guilty about saying I am going to get an ass kickin at home instead of at the gym? Maybe because I feel like by saying I am working out at home instead I am making an excuse for it, but I am still working out... I dont know my brain is weird.

I have a lot to get done today. My eyes are burning right now though, so it will be hard to get started. Oh well. Life goes on. I will just have to suck it up. :-)

I packed an amazing lunch and snack for me today because I knew I would be tempted to go get fast food because today will probably be day one of a week of annoyance. I packed 2 mini potato corn empanadas, non fat refried beans, with tons and tons of pico de gallo (HOT!). Mmmm so excited for it. I had it for dinner last night and it was heaven. I also packed some pita bread with cilantro/jalepeno hummus. Mmmm. Food that is not super fatty, yet amazing. I love whole foods and trader joes. Mmmmmm.

Planned Food for the Day:
B: Peaches N Creme Oatmeal, Starbucks Doubleshot
S: Apple
L: Potato Corn Empanadas with Non-fat Refried Beans, salsa and a tiny bit of reduced fat cheese.
S: Trader Joes cilantro/jalepeno hummus with Trader Joes mini pocket pita bread
D: Cordon Blue (w/ fake chicken) and possibly some corn and white lentil beans.

Planned Fitness Today:
35-60 minutes of Exercise TV on Demand (probably cardio and abs)

Food Eaten Yesterday:
B: Yogurt with Granola
L: Disgusting coconut Chik'n Patty and Hamburger Bun
S: Granola Bites & Apple
D: Potato Corn Empanadas with Non-fat Refried Beans, salsa and a tiny bit of reduced fat cheese.

Fitness Yesterday:
35 Minutes of Cardio
15 Minutes of Weights

Monday, December 3, 2007


Writing at work, when you don't have your own office, and people are on the phone right next to you, and coming up to talk to you, with fax machines beeping right next to you, and the printer running out of paper for things I dont EVER print, can really drive a girl crazy. Our website is launching in less than 2 weeks and I have a lot to do today. But I can hardly do it with our internet going down every 5 minutes and loud noises distracting me. Why can't I work from home? Today? Please? I swear I will get more work done. I SWEAR.

Okay enough with that. I hope all your weekends went well.

I seemed to have bought more food than I worked out, but i didnt eat all the food, which is good. haha. The only time I went out to eat all weekend was when I went to Whole Foods and bought their breakfast thing so i could get a 25 cent mimosa. hahah. But other than that, nothing too bad.

Dinner last night was pretty big, but I hardly ate during the day so it didn't result to be too bad. We had pasta, garlic bread (made by me and low in fat, etc), salad with pecans & cranberries, and a trader joes chocolate croissant. Mmmm. It is now tradition in our house to make a nice dinner on Sunday and watch Dexter. I like it. I can prepare for it as well, which is nice.

Although I might have to work a lot this week, I am still going to work out. Luckily I can do ALL my work from home, so I can do it at home, at least after 330. I think I might have to do a lot of writing tonight.

Planned Food for Today:
B:Whole Foods Yogurt & Whole Foods granola
L: Fake Chikn Coconut Patty & Hamburger Bun
S: Apple & Something else?
D: Potato Corn Empanadas, Fat Free Refried Beans, lots of salsa

Planned Exercise for Today:
30 minutes cardio
15 minutes of weights

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Weekend and Food Shopping

I hope everyone's weekend is going well. Mine so far has gone pretty well. Pretty low key for the most part. Right now I am feeling sorta sick (or very allergy-like not sure) so I am procrastinating on getting things I need to do done.

I went to Teddy's holiday party. I got an amazing Vegetarian Wellington. Mmmm. And have some other tasty stuff. It ended up being a lot more fun than I expected.

I went on my run yesterday, about 3 miles (ish) in 30 minutes. I am not the fastest runner, but I can go the distance hahahaha. I can't really compared to most of you, but its the distance for me at my level. Hahah. I was in a terrible mood before the run, but after I felt amazing. I attribute this to my addiction to the serotonin you get after working out, and my lack of it from not being able to work out much this past week. Speaking of which, I need to fit it in today at some point, but if I keep doing things like this I won't be able to. Plus I don't feel good and I suck ass if I don't. Hahha.

On Saturday I got some stuff, procrastinated, and saw "No Country for Old Men" with Mike. I can only say eh about that movie.

I ended up stocking up on good tasty food from Whole Foods and Trader Joes this weekend. Here is my list.

Here is what I bought from Trader Joes:
Trader Joes Penne Pepperonata
Trader Joes chocolate Croissants
Trader Giottos (joes) Gnocchi Al Gorgonzola
Pita Bread
Cilantro Jalepeno Hummus (mmmmmmmmmmmm)
Trader Joes Vegetarian Fried Rice & Vegetarian Egg Rolls

Here is what I bought from Whole Foods
Chikn (fake) Cordon Blue (mini, so not too terrible for you)
Creamy Tomoto Basil Pasta
chikn (fake) Coconut Patty
Potato Corn Empanadas
Granola (the best ever)
Honey Roasted Peanuts Peanut Butter (freshly made there)
Pink Lady Apples
The Best Salsa EVER
Black Bean Soup
Amys Beans & rice sorta soup thing

I read a lot of food review sites, such as Heat Eat Review and shutter bean. These blogs are amazing, and are the reason my grocery list was so large this week. heh :-)

These foods should last me awhile! I am excited to try them all.

I actually tried the Trader Joes Penne Pepperonata last night. I added some Trader Joes turkey meatballs to it, and it was AMAZING. I want it again and again. And it was probably only about 250 calories for an amazing meal. Mmmmmmmmm. If you have a Trader Joes around you should definitely try it.

Oh but for warning the Trader Joes chocolate Croissants have to be thawed for 9 hours before you can cook them. WTF? I didn't realize this and went to make them for breakfast and read the instructions and was crushed. We might eat them as dessert tonight, or for breakfast sometime this week. Not sure which. Either way I still expect them to be delicious.

I hope this wasn't too much food porn for today.

I need to get to work now and write for work so I won't go crazy this week.

I also need to figure out how to feel better, and pay rent, and do laundry. Oh and tonight is Dexter tonight on showtime. Woo hoo!! Dexter night is the best!

Keep up with these gals!

Most Frequented and Commented On Blogs I Read :-)

Laura: She is such a sweet person. Not only does she keep me motivated, but she also makes me smile (a whole lot) and makes me laugh. You are the reason why people stay motivated because of blog communites :-)

Our Wicked Weighs: Not only is the title of the blog an awesome play on words, but it is also a great blog. I just started reading this blog a few months ago and I am hooked. It allows for a great weight loss community atmosphere, and will set you straight when you need it most :-)

Mrs. Furious: This is one of my favorite blogs to read also, because "Mrs. Furious" is so great! Not only do I get to see her great progress, but I also get a great look into her life and see her adorable little ones! I don't know how you do it, but you great at time managenemt, fitness, and well just about everything that I have read about.

Beautiful Disaster: You can always count on her to leave you a comment when you need it the most. Not only do you get the see her struggle with weight loss, but you also get to see her life for what it really is. I feel like I can connect to what she is going through, if not only because she writes it so well! Thanks for keeping me going, you make me smile all the time with every comment :-)

Waist Basket: How can you not enjoy a blog that speaks of the "underwear theif"? haha. She gives me great ideas on what to do on my fitness path, and also lets you in on the inner track of her mind. She is also beyond helpful when I ask questions about things that she does. Thanks for all your comments and support!!

I would like to thank all of you for helping me stick to my fitness plan!


Recent Posts